In a disagreement, often certain crucial information isn't available or isn't clearly understood by either person. We need to ask ourselves if:
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There are three different realms of an argument:
Pay close attention to what ‘spikes’ up your emotions, those triggers that are felt when someone challenges you, or provides you with information that is new to you or does not align with your reality.
This cognitive dissonance (the state of holding two or more contradictory beliefs) may be your chance to update your expectations, instead of making the world fit in them.
When you're having an argument, there are two different views involved, and maybe two different realities. Instead of making it a black and white, right or wrong argument, try to ask genuine questions to help you understand what the other person is thinking.
Calm down, create mental space, and have a pleasant and relaxing disagreement, after you take the time to listen to the other person's point of view, instead of reacting impulsively or angrily.
Differing opinions and debates are good things as they help us balance each other out and move us forward as a society. But, such discussions can often turn into a situation where feelings are hurt...
It is frustrating when you're arguing with someone, and you feel like they don't listen. But you really only have control over what you do. You can't make someone listen to you, but you can listen to them.
Instead of accusing the other person of not listening, say "I'm listening," followed by repeating what they just said. Once they feel heard, they'll feel respected. When they feel respected, they're more likely to return the favour.
Most people have more in common than they think. A genuine agreement is a great tool during an argument. Saying, "You're right" or "I agree with you" can establish some common ground to have a productive or meaningful conversation.
Along with that, you should still avoid saying "You're wrong" as it immediately puts someone on their guard and alienates them.
People tend to disagree when they don't understand each other. That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out.
When you come to an understanding t...
Whatever may have happened in your past, you have to find a way to get past your triggers and see that you're in a new situation with a person who doesn't mean you harm. What's triggered is usually fear and awareness of one's limitations.
Look for common ground. When you concentrate on differences the space grows wider, but when you seek out what you have in common it helps bridge the gap.
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