Politeness - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

deepstash

Beta

The science of being 'nice': how politeness is different from compassion

Politeness

Politeness refers to our tendency to be respectful of others and not aggressive. It's about having good manners based on traditional values.

100 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

The science of being 'nice': how politeness is different from compassion

The science of being 'nice': how politeness is different from compassion

http://theconversation.com/the-science-of-being-nice-how-politeness-is-different-from-compassion-81819

theconversation.com

5

Key Ideas

Our desire to be nice

Our tendency to be “nice” can be separated into two related but distinct personality traits: politeness and compassion.

Politeness is linked to being fair, while compassion is helping others.

Politeness

Politeness refers to our tendency to be respectful of others and not aggressive. It's about having good manners based on traditional values.

Compassion

Compassion refers to our tendency to be emotionally concerned about others and rests on progressive values.

Different behaviors

Politeness and compassion lead to different kinds of behaviors.

Polite people tend to do the right thing while they may not necessarily help people in need. Compassionate people will respond to the misfortunes of others, but may not be even-handed and rule-abiding.

Politeness or compassion

We should strive for politeness and compassion, as both have a role to play in society.

As a principle: if you can, help others; if you can't, at least do not hurt them.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The dark triad of personality

The dark triad of personality consists of narcissism (self-importance), Machiavellianism (strategic exploitation and deceit), and psychopathy (callousness and cynicism).

We are all...

The light side of human nature

The light triad of human nature consists of three distinct factors:

  • Kantianism (treating people for who they are, not as means)
  • Humanism ( valuing the dignity and worth of each person)
  • Faith in humanity (believing in the fundamental goodness of humans)
The average person displays both triads

The light triad is not simply the opposite of the dark triad. There is a little bit of light and dark in each of us.

A study revealed that the average person is leaning more toward the light triad than the dark in their everyday patterns of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Extreme malevolence is rare in the general population.

2 more ideas

The right place for your first rendez-vous

When choosing the right place for your first date, take into account the risk that things might not work miraculously well from the first try. Therefore, better go for simple places, like pubs, for...

Keep the conversation going

If you are planning your first date with somebody, make sure to pay a special attention to the topics you want to engage in throughout the date. Keep the conversation smart and the exchange of experiences alive.

Shape your mindset

When going on a first date, make sure your mindset is a positive one, no matter what your previous dating experiences felt like. Embrace the fear of a possible failure while hoping for a pleasant outcome.

8 more ideas

Our personalities can change
Our personalities can change

Many of us think our personality is fixed and unchangeable.

But according to a recent study, while our early personalities may provide a baseline, they are pliable as we age

Why personality changes matter

Thinking of personality as fixed could leave us feeling like we can never grow or dismiss people with certain qualities, believing that change isn't possible. However, we don't simply change our personalities in random ways. The relationship among all of our personality traits seems to be more consistent.

If someone was really conscientious but slightly disagreeable, they might keep that personality profile as they age, even if their other traits changed a bit.

Our personalities are a mix

Personality seems to change cumulative over our lifespan and likely happens in response to our life experiences. Therefore our personalities are a mix of stable and unstable.

  • Parents and teachers should keep that in mind when they try to influence a child's personality.
  • Even the elderly, whom we might expect to be more set in their ways, can change.
  • Partners would be better served by learning to value what remains constant in someone's personality while embracing personality shifts as they happen.
The Big Five
It represents the 5 personality traits psychologists use today:
  • Openness to experiences
  • Conscientiousness
  • Extraversion
  • Agreeableness
Openness to Experience

It describes people who enjoy the arts and new experiences. Possible facets:

  • Fantasy: they have a vivid imagination
  • Aesthetics: they believe in the importance of art
  • Feelings: They experience emotions intensely
  • Actions: They prefer variety to routine
  • Ideas: they like complex problems
  • Values: they tend to vote for liberals.
Conscientiousness

People that score high on this are organized, methodical and tend to keep going and going. Possible facets:

  • Competence: they complete tasks successfully
  • Order: they like order
  • Dutifulness: the follow the rules
  • Achievement-striving: they work hard
  • Self-discipline: they get chores done right away
  • Deliberation: they avoid mistakes.

3 more ideas

We're (Mostly) Focused On Ourselves
  • People are only focusing a small portion of their thoughts on judging you; your self-judgment is overwhelmingly larger.
  • People who appear to be mean or hur...
Few Social Behaviors are Explicit

Most of the intentions behind our actions are hidden. If a person is feeling depressed or angry, usually the resulting behaviors distort their true feelings.

By focusing on empathy you can usually break away these subversions and get to the heart of the issue faster.

Our Feelings Are Not Explicit

Most of the time you feel something, nobody else knows about it. So don’t get angry when people aren’t responding to you.

If you deceive your thoughts with your actions, don’t get angry when you fool people.

4 more ideas

Generosity
The ancient Law of Circulation requires that you give others whatever you wish to have for yourself. 


If you want love, then you must give love; if we want peace, then you must give peace; ...

True generosity is unconditional

Unconditional generosity is giving without anticipation of any kind of reciprocation, repayment, or even a thank you.

Examples of generosity include a simple smile for a stranger or sharing your time with the elderly.  Think about what else you can give in terms of time, talent and resources that you are blessed with.

Generosity begets generosity

Generosity spreads and transfers and has a 'pay it forward effect' many times over.

The generosity cycle has it's own momentum and spreads over a period of time as each person is impacted.