Basic questions can elicit profound answers.

This is the aspirational act, the act of bridging the gap between our old selves who had an intention and our new selves who are realizing that intention. Callard’s conclusion is that this journey is one of the keys to fulfillment. Why? Well, let’s compare aspiration to ambition. 

Ambition gives us goals to achieve: a promotion to strive for, a marathon to run, a competition to win. Achieving those goals makes us happy – for a while, anyway. But we can’t put that sense of triumph in a display case like a trophy. Soon, it fades and disappears. Like hungry ghosts, we’re soon...

Endlessly pursuing such shifting goals, the Buddha thought, turns us into “hungry ghosts.” We’re ravenous, but nothing fills – or fulfills – us. That’s a paradoxical, futile, and miserable way to live.

The words left on your list should give you a good idea of your defining qualities. The qualities which influence both what you aspire to and whether you’ll be willing to earn that aspiration. If you’re feeling brave, show this list to the person who knows you best. Do they agree, or have you ski...

But lots of dichotomies in everyday life resist integration. We tend to be optimists or pessimists, joiners or loners. We can’t be both – we have to pick one or the other. This brings us to the aspiration process: Which side of those dichotomies should you choose? Unless you want to completely fl...

Buddhist paradigm can help everyone, Buddhist and non-Buddhist alike, to think more clearly about what it means to lead a fulfilling life. 

That’s because so many of us are trapped in what he calls the Western paradigm – a view of the world which denies impermanence. The view that says you’...

Your next task is to write a letter from the present to that future self. To the person you will be next year, or in 5, 10, or 20 years. This letter is about showing your future self that you’re not content to remain as you are right now. That you’re investing in who you will become.

So here’s an exercise that will help you do just that. 

The first step is simple: write down as many interesting dichotomies as you can think of. To get you started, here are some common ones that crop up in life. Are you a glass-half-full or a glass-half-empty kind of person? Conservative ...

So what investments are you making in your future? You’ll want to think about big, obvious things like your career – but don’t restrict yourself to what seems obvious. Knowledge, skills, relationships, and health matter, too. Maybe you’re meditating because it clears your mind. Or cooking because...

The Western paradigm, in short, promises that you’ll be happy when well, what? In the end, you can’t escape the reality of impermanence. The goal posts keep shifting. That dream house could be bigger. Or smaller. Or closer to your grandkids. The promotion you hoped for doesn’t bring you the statu...

To focus on the present doesn’t mean forgetting the past; you’re not throwing every trace of the past down the memory hole. What it’s really about is learning to recognize that there’s a distinction between your past and present selves. That the paths you chose in the past don’t dictate which pat...

Aspiration is different. To stick with Callard’s example, there’s no day on which we can tick the box and say that we’ve achieved the goal of being parents. To be a parent is an act of constantly becoming a parent – of rising to new challenges, accepting new setbacks, and responding to new phases...

Your achievements, your good reputation, the reciprocated love of the people you love – everything is impermanent. All of it can fade. Such things, then, aren’t “possessions.” You can’t lock them up for safekeeping. You can’t take them to the bank. You can’t invest them and live off the interest....

Now go through your list and cross out every dichotomy that doesn’t apply to your personality or play a role in your life. What’s left? The final step of the exercise is to go over the remaining dichotomies and cross out the side of the pairing that doesn’t apply. For example, if the leader-versu...

What lies between the present (the person you are now) and the future (the person you wish to become)? What bridges the gap between those selves? How, in other words, does change happen?

Those are pretty philosophical questions, so let’s ask the American philosopher Agnes Callard for some h...

Dichotomy resolution is the part of product design that resolves either/or quandaries. For example, should a new car (or vacuum cleaner or coffee maker) be modern or classic, small or functional, a standalone or part of a series? Sometimes, dichotomies aren’t necessarily contradictions: you can r...