The concept of the 5 love languages

• Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.
• Acts of service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
• Receiving gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
• Quality time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
• Physical touch: It can range from having sex to holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.

The concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship - it’s useful to understand what matters to people.

It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better. 

We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.

There are three possible reasons why the ability to learn a language decreases at 18.

• Social changes: At 18, late teens typically graduate high school and may no longer have the time, opportunity or learning environment to study a second language.
• Interference: The rules of a first language may interfere with the ability to learn a second language.
• Continuing brain development: Changes in the brain that continue during the late teens and early 20s may make learning harder.

There are many examples of people who pick up a language later in life. Our ability to learn new vocabulary appears to remain constant, but most of us will not be able to master grammar like a native speaker.

Different cultures have different perceptions about time. The Mandarin language, for example, places time in a vertical axis, with next week becoming down week, and last week becoming up week.

These differences in language have a psycho-physical effect in bilinguals and change the way the same person experiences the passage of time, depending on which language the brain is operating in.

Studies on Bilinguals prove that language can affect our most basic senses, our time perception, visual perception, and our emotions.

The flexible brain-shifting of bilinguals also aids in their learning, multitasking abilities, and mental well-being.

Finding some kind of partner on your language adventure will push both of you to always try just a little bit harder and stay with it.

It’s a really great way of actually going about it. You have someone with whom you can speak, and that’s the idea behind learning a new language.

When you have no one else to speak to, there’s nothing wrong with talking to yourself in a foreign language.

This can keep new words and phrases fresh in your mind. It also helps build up your confidence for the next time you speak with someone.

In history, marriage was a pragmatic institution. A sense of identity was more embedded in community, and not solely in marriage.

The shift to individualism and choice has meant that we feel the need to find our identity in an all-encompassing romantic partnership. We are asking from one person what once an entire village used to provide.

Recognising that one person can't be your everything can help you find a broader definition of love.

Sharing your experiences with others is an essential ingredient to feeling connected.

This conncection doesn't have to come in the form of a partner or having friends around you all the time. Rather, it is the quality of your close relationships that has an impact on your well being.

• When we confront new information, we interpret it to support our existing beliefs. Any thought or discussion that confirms our prejudice and thought patterns seems appealing to us and is known as confirmation bias.
• When we try to argue our case (because of course, we are right!) it strengthens the defence of the opposition.
• However wrong it seems to us, their arguments are correct too according to the confirmation bias they have experienced, which has solidified their point of view.

Get into the other person’s shoes and figure out why their point of view is so important for them.

Conflict is almost inevitable in an argument due to both the parties ‘doubling down’ on their confirmation bias. Instead of going the way of souring your relations, a better approach is to have an open mind and simply understand the other person’s point of view.

Your passion is what you want to spend your time doing and not some random vision written on a blackboard in the sky that you somehow need to “discover”.  

Ask yourself what you love doing day in day out, because ultimately this is your passion.

If you pick your industry based only on how much money you think you can make, then you can expect to always be chasing the money.

If you take the time to align your day-to-day passion and your skills, you will flat out make the rest of the process much easier.

When we are in conflict, our view of the other person becomes so narrow that we do not see them as a fleshed-out person. 

Try to assume that the other person is acting in good faith. That baseline assumption can get you through plenty of instances of misplaced tone and timing.  

Good communication is a full-body experience. It’s how we breathe. It’s our tone. It’s our gestures. 

Cultivate habits like keeping an open expression, avoid defaulting to crossed arms, and taking deep breaths to help change the tenor of an interaction.

Pick a friend who also wants to learn the language. Agree to talk in the target language at least once per day or whenever you do talk.

The friend does not have to be a native speaker. Whenever you are stuck, use a dictionary or Google translate. But, 10% of your time should be speaking with an advanced or native speaker.

If you cannot find someone willing to commit to only speaking that language, hire a tutor.

You can also opt for language exchange with people who want to learn your language.