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Connect With Your Kids By Speaking Their 'Love Language'

Identifying a child’s love language

  • It will be helpful for finding little ways to show them extra affection in a personalized way.
  • It’s also helpful to know that whatever love language they speak is also the language they are most likely to feel hurt by.
  • Even if your child scores high in one or two languages, that doesn’t mean you should ditch the other languages completely.

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Connect With Your Kids By Speaking Their 'Love Language'

Connect With Your Kids By Speaking Their 'Love Language'

https://offspring.lifehacker.com/connect-with-your-kids-by-speaking-their-love-language-1842091485

offspring.lifehacker.com

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Key Ideas

The concept of the 5 love languages

It refers to the idea that we all give and receive love differently. The five languages are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch

Identifying a child’s love language

  • It will be helpful for finding little ways to show them extra affection in a personalized way.
  • It’s also helpful to know that whatever love language they speak is also the language they are most likely to feel hurt by.
  • Even if your child scores high in one or two languages, that doesn’t mean you should ditch the other languages completely.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The five love languages

The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationships. 

We all show affection in different ways. These “languag...

The five love languages, in a nutshell
  • Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.
  • Acts of service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
  • Receiving gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
  • Quality time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
  • Physical touch: It can range from having sex to holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.
Love languages for non-romantic relationships

The concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship - it’s useful to understand what matters to people.

It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better. 

We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.

Learning a second language

Research shows that children are proficient at learning a second language up until the age of 18, roughly ten years later than earlier estimates. It also shows that it is best to start another lang...

The decline in language learning

There are three possible reasons why the ability to learn a language decreases at 18.

  • Social changes: At 18, late teens typically graduate high school and may no longer have the time, opportunity or learning environment to study a second language.
  • Interference: The rules of a first language may interfere with the ability to learn a second language.
  • Continuing brain development: Changes in the brain that continue during the late teens and early 20s may make learning harder.

Learning a new language

There are many examples of people who pick up a language later in life. Our ability to learn new vocabulary appears to remain constant, but most of us will not be able to master grammar like a native speaker.

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Bilinguals

According to a new study, the people that can speak two languages frequently, develop cognitive flexibility, due to their brains getting rewired.

Bilinguals can switch back and for...

Time Perception

Different cultures have different perceptions about time. The Mandarin language, for example, places time in a vertical axis, with next week becoming down week, and last week becoming up week.

These differences in language have a psycho-physical effect in bilinguals and change the way the same person experiences the passage of time, depending on which language the brain is operating in.

Flexible Brain Shifting

Studies on Bilinguals prove that language can affect our most basic senses, our time perception, visual perception, and our emotions.

The flexible brain-shifting of bilinguals also aids in their learning, multitasking abilities, and mental well-being.

Know your motivation

If you don’t have a good reason to learn a language, you are less likely to stay motivated over the long-run.

Once you’ve decided on a language, it’s crucial to commit.

Find a partner

Finding some kind of partner on your language adventure will push both of you to always try just a little bit harder and stay with it.

It’s a really great way of actually going about it. You have someone with whom you can speak, and that’s the idea behind learning a new language.

Talk to yourself

When you have no one else to speak to, there’s nothing wrong with talking to yourself in a foreign language.

This can keep new words and phrases fresh in your mind. It also helps build up your confidence for the next time you speak with someone.

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The forms of love

Love is not just found in romantic love directed at one person.

Love includes the depth of close friendships, the sense of belonging in a community, the intensity of an artistic practice...

It takes a village to feel loved

In history, marriage was a pragmatic institution. A sense of identity was more embedded in community, and not solely in marriage.

The shift to individualism and choice has meant that we feel the need to find our identity in an all-encompassing romantic partnership. We are asking from one person what once an entire village used to provide.

Recognising that one person can't be your everything can help you find a broader definition of love.

The love of friendship

Sharing your experiences with others is an essential ingredient to feeling connected.

This conncection doesn't have to come in the form of a partner or having friends around you all the time. Rather, it is the quality of your close relationships that has an impact on your well being.

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The Fallacy Of Arguments
The Fallacy Of Arguments

The fallacy of our seemingly perfect argument lies in the fact that we assume that the other person is reasonable and logical, just as we are. That is not true in both cases.

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How Confirmation Bias Influences Our Communication
  • When we confront new information, we interpret it to support our existing beliefs. Any thought or discussion that confirms our prejudice and thought patterns seems appealing to us and is known as confirmation bias.
  • When we try to argue our case (because of course, we are right!) it strengthens the defence of the opposition.
  • However wrong it seems to us, their arguments are correct too according to the confirmation bias they have experienced, which has solidified their point of view.
Figuring Out Your Opponent's Point Of View

Get into the other person’s shoes and figure out why their point of view is so important for them.

Conflict is almost inevitable in an argument due to both the parties ‘doubling down’ on their confirmation bias. Instead of going the way of souring your relations, a better approach is to have an open mind and simply understand the other person’s point of view.

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Be Clear On Your Passion

Your passion is what you want to spend your time doing and not some random vision written on a blackboard in the sky that you somehow need to “discover”.  

Ask yourself what you love doing day in day out, because ultimately this is your passion.

Align Your Passion With Your Skills

If you pick your industry based only on how much money you think you can make, then you can expect to always be chasing the money.

If you take the time to align your day-to-day passion and your skills, you will flat out make the rest of the process much easier.

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Know your brain

Our response to difficult conversations is neurologically the same response to fear: the fight, flight, or freeze response.

When you feel that internal escalation,&n...

Assume good intentions

When we are in conflict, our view of the other person becomes so narrow that we do not see them as a fleshed-out person. 

Try to assume that the other person is acting in good faith. That baseline assumption can get you through plenty of instances of misplaced tone and timing.  

Body language speaks volumes

Good communication is a full-body experience. It’s how we breathe. It’s our tone. It’s our gestures. 

Cultivate habits like keeping an open expression, avoid defaulting to crossed arms, and taking deep breaths to help change the tenor of an interaction.

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The Best Strategy
  • Go to a country that speaks the language.
  • Get a phrasebook and learn a few basic expressions.
  • Commit to only speaking in that language from Day One.
  • Use a ...
  • If You Can’t Travel to Learn

    Pick a friend who also wants to learn the language. Agree to talk in the target language at least once per day or whenever you do talk.

    The friend does not have to be a native speaker. Whenever you are stuck, use a dictionary or Google translate. But, 10% of your time should be speaking with an advanced or native speaker.

    You Can’t Find a Partner

    If you cannot find someone willing to commit to only speaking that language, hire a tutor.

    You can also opt for language exchange with people who want to learn your language.

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