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How to Release Anger: Tips for Letting Go
Change your mind
One efficient way to calm down after an argument is to change your environment, as this will most certainly also result in a change of mind.
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Control your breath to better control your anger
When you feel anger, try controlling your breath. This will result in your entire body instantly calming down. Remember, anger can never prove productive.
Magical phrases to fight your anger
Whenever you feel angry, try repeating certain phrases that you know for a fact that will calm you down. If you do not have them already prepared, take a few minutes during a normal day to think about what these phrases could sound like.
Fancy a happy place to keep your anger under control
Fancying a happy and calm place whenever you are angry helps you deal better with the negative feeling. Furthermore, focusing on both your breathing and your environment has a positive effect on your mood and allows you to relax.
Moving calms you down
It is a well-known fact that if you feel upset or angry doing slow movements can help a great deal. Therefore, try calming down by taking walks or just standing up from your chair in order to go to the other corner of the room- you might be well impressed by the outcome.
Fight your anger
There are at least a few ways to successfully fight your anger, if you really want this. Therefore, keeping a realistic image of the facts, speaking up your mind when upset or trying to lighten up a bit the atmosphere while in an argument can prove extremely useful to your mood.
Change your mind
One efficient way to calm down after an argument is to change your environment, as this will most certainly also result in a change of mind.
Find the proper solution to calm your anger
Whenever you notice that there is something in your everyday life that makes you feel constantly annoyed, take a second to figure out where it all comes from. Once you have this figured out, it is easier to think about a proper solution to solve the issue.
Positive thinking and help can go a long way
If you come to realize that you have an issue of anger, try focusing on what is positive on your life. Moreover, if this does not work, try alternative solutions, like going to a specialist. Remember that in the end it is all about getting back on your feet and feeling good with yourself.
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Dealing with your anger
Anger leads us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. However, some anger leads to more significant consequences, like strained relationships or legal trouble.
The key to ...
Anger ≠ aggression
Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
- You can't control your emotions directly. In the legal system, nobody gets sent to prison for how they felt, regardless of how angry they were. They get punished for what they do.
- You can influence your emotions indirectly by how you think and behave. For example, when you focus on how terrible all the drivers in your town are, your anger will likely increase. But, if you listen to music and think about how grateful you are, your anger will probably subside.
Expressing anger
While you can't control your emotions of anger directly, you have control over your aggression, which is a decision to express your anger.
Aggression does not only involve acts of violence. Being overly-critical or judgmental of someone in your mind is an act of aggression, as is replying sarcastically or rolling your eyes at someone.
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Anger and Aggression
- Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
- Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggression can be insults, sarcas...
Validation and Boundaries
- We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
- We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
- We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
- If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
- The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
- Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.
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The role of anger
Anger is not actually bad for us - it alerts us to the fact that we've been wronged. The racing heart and hot face is your body preparing for a fight or flight response, energizing you to confr...
Managing your anger
Managing your anger is all about managing your thoughts. Your thoughts will determine how you respond.
Strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy can teach people healthier thought patterns.
The Angry Cognitions Scale (ACS)
It helps a user read a set of blood-boiling scenarios and rates how likely they are to have each of six possible reactions. It enables you to recognize unhelpful thoughts that cause a knee-jerk reaction. For example: When you are driving through a residential area, and someone backs their car out of a driveway and nearly hits you. There are six possible reactions:
- "They did that just so I'd have to stop." This is a fallacy known as misattributing causation - you don't know the other person's intentions.
- "They almost totaled my car." It catastrophizes a scary situation into utter destruction.
- "Nobody knows how to drive anymore" overgeneralizes a specific situation into a universal truth.
- "I was here first. They shouldn't have gotten in my way." Here you make an unreasonable demand that somehow other people should know where you're going.
- "That dumb jerk!" is inflammatory labeling that dehumanizes and insults the other person.
- "He must not have seen me" is adaptive and more likely to calm you down.
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