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4 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Cherish your life
Everybody is aware, in a certain measure, of the different truths life provides us with. One of them, which is also the scariest, is related to the fact that eventually, we all die.
However, instead of freaking out on the topic, it might be better to learn how to spend our time in a productive and enjoyable way, as if every day was the last that we get to spend with our beloved ones.
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Cherish your life
Everybody is aware, in a certain measure, of the different truths life provides us with. One of them, which is also the scariest, is related to the fact that eventually, we all die.
However, instead of freaking out on the topic, it might be better to learn how to spend our time in a productive and enjoyable way, as if every day was the last that we get to spend with our beloved ones.
Work hard, live longer
One of the biggest truths you will ever come to realize is that hard work, ambition and targets give actual meaning to your life.
Furthermore, once you have given a purpose to your work, you will most certainly see that motivation goes a long way into making someone's life more interesting to live.
There is a limit to happiness
Whoever believes that happiness knows no bound is in for a big surprise: happiness, like everything in this world, knows limits and very often we perceive this fact maybe just a bit too harsh.
In order to enjoy life and to get to feel happy, as much as it is possible, one should first be able to deal with difficult situations. Therefore, maturity tends to be seen as the key to ensuring a satisfactory life.
People will make you both happy and unhappy
In the long run, individuals are made to hurt and be hurt. This is not so good. However, the great news is that people are also the ones who heal or help with the healing.
And that is truly amazing news: trust people, because some turn out great and for those who don't, remember that in the end, nobody is perfect.
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Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
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Identifying Unhelpful Thoughts
- Black and White Thinking: There are heaping piles of nuance to most things.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Cynicism is bad, but a little skepticism is essential.
- Selective Attention: If your brain is always looking for the negative, you’re gonna find it.
- Disqualifying the Positive: Sometimes we go into problem-solving mode and focus only on what is broken.
- Predicting the Future: “This will never work” or “They’re going to think I’m stupid.” You don’t know the future. So don’t act like it.
- “Should” thoughts: It’s usually just an insistence that the world bends to your will and is a great way to amplify frustration.
Do More Stuff
Doing little positive things is better for happiness than occasionally bagging an elephant:
- Enjoyable stuff
- Achievement stuff: Defeat your goals in single combat and feel like a conquering hero
- Meaningful stuff: Do volunteer work or just help someone
- Physical stuff: Exercise. Not only keeps you alive, but it’s like miracle grow for your brain
- Social stuff.
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People that cause grief
We all know a few people that cause grief, not merely because they have a bad day but because they have severe problems and are unwilling to change.
We can learn enough to recognize i...
High-conflict people (HCP)
- Narcissistic HCPs: They may seem charming at first but think themselves to be superior. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy while demanding respect and attention.
- Borderline HCPs: They start out friendly but can suddenly change into being extremely angry. During this rage, they may seek revenge for minor insults.
- Antisocial (or Sociopathic/Psychopathic) HCPs There extreme charm is a cover for their drive to dominate others through lying, stealing, publicly humiliating people, physically injuring them, and sometimes murdering them.
While these are disorders and these people are suffering, mental health professionals would advise you to keep your distance from them, if at all possible.
Behavior Patterns Of HCP
Everybody has bad days or weeks. To tell if someone is a High Conflict Person, we can look for four traits of behavior.
- Lots of all-or-nothing thinking: When problems arise, it is their solution or no solution. They don't compromise or listen to different points of view.
- Intense or unmanaged emotions: HCPs become very emotional about their points of view. Their responses are out of proportion to whatever is happening.
- Extreme behavior or threats: They engage in extreme negative behavior that includes physical harm, spreading lies about someone else, emotional manipulation, or obsessive contact.
- A preoccupation with blaming others: They frequently blame other people close to them or people in authority over them.
Nobody is perfect, but if someone has all four traits, they almost certainly are an HCP.
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Core Factors In A Happy Life
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Reverse FOMO
FOMO is the fear of missing out, especially the latest internet hysteria. But FOMO is not the real problem - Reverse FOMO is. By always being online, you are missing out on real life. An overwhelming online presence is replacing all the things that really make a good life.
Values, Not Lifehacks
Tech is only a tool. How you use it can make it good or not so good.
We don't need a lifehack to control our phone. We need values to ensure that technology serves us, and not the other way around.
Find out what you value in life. Then ask how technology supports those values. Set rules that work for them. If you don't, tech will fill that void by default.
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