<ul><li>Thinking in extremes. Using words like always, never, must, should, horrible, perfect etc</li><li>This type of thinking results in extreme emotions and can make a situation worse.</li><li>The key to resolve black and white thinking is to look at reality in a more nuanced manner and get honest with ourselves</li><li>Instead of saying ‘you never do something’ say that ‘she does these sometimes’.</li></ul>

Black and white thinking 

<ul><li>It justifies you.</li><li>It excuses you from work.</li><li>It protects you from feelings extreme emotions like disappointment, sadness etc.</li><li>It helps you feel powerless.</li><li>It kinda feels good.</li></ul>

Why do we think in ‘black or white’

<ul><li>Notice extreme words like 'always', 'never', 'horrible' etc.</li><li>Take a deep breath and slow down.</li><li>Name the emotion - like I feel angry, for example I feel  </li><li>Reframe your thoughts by - </li></ul><ol><li>Use both/and - You can feel two emotions at the same time. Eg I am smart and valuable but i make mistakes too.</li><li>Look for exceptions like "my husband does the dishes sometimes"</li></ol><ul><li>Be specific about the problem. Specify what’s troubling you. Instead of saying 'everything is horrible' describe what specifically is horrible.</li><li>Be accountable. What can be done to help the situation</li></ul>

Reframing black and white thinking

Reframe your thinking to see reality as more nuanced and varied.

Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246 Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!” Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS. I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math” Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT” Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. If it’s so awful, why do we do it? You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve? 00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity 00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking 02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking? 05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive 06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking 07:10 How to think in the gray 10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/ Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246

Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube

Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. 

Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. 
A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!”
Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS.  I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math”  
Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. 
A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT”
Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. 

The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. 

If it’s so awful, why do we do it? 
You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve?

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity
00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking
02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking?
05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive
06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking
07:10 How to think in the gray
10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive
Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. 
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Welcome to my passion project! I’m Emma McAdam, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and my mission is to make mental health resources easier to access. I take therapy skills and psychological research and condense them down into bite-sized nuggets of help. 

As a licensed therapist, one thing I’ve noticed is that most people have no idea of what they can do to improve depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. 

I’m here to spread the message that while mental illness is real, it’s common, it’s debilitating, it’s also treatable. There are dozens of research-backed approaches to treating depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Change, growth, and healing are possible. Please keep courage! Try one little thing every day to improve your life and health, and things can get so much better! 
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