How to Reframe Black and White Thinking and become less emotionally reactive
Curated from: Therapy in a Nutshell
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Black and white thinking
- Thinking in extremes. Using words like always, never, must, should, horrible, perfect etc
- This type of thinking results in extreme emotions and can make a situation worse.
- The key to resolve black and white thinking is to look at reality in a more nuanced manner and get honest with ourselves
- Instead of saying ‘you never do something’ say that ‘she does these sometimes’.
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Why do we think in ‘black or white’
- It justifies you.
- It excuses you from work.
- It protects you from feelings extreme emotions like disappointment, sadness etc.
- It helps you feel powerless.
- It kinda feels good.
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Reframing black and white thinking
- Notice extreme words like 'always', 'never', 'horrible' etc.
- Take a deep breath and slow down.
- Name the emotion - like I feel angry, for example I feel
- Reframe your thoughts by -
- Use both/and - You can feel two emotions at the same time. Eg I am smart and valuable but i make mistakes too.
- Look for exceptions like "my husband does the dishes sometimes"
- Be specific about the problem. Specify what’s troubling you. Instead of saying 'everything is horrible' describe what specifically is horrible.
- Be accountable. What can be done to help the situation
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IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
Reframe your thinking to see reality as more nuanced and varied.
“
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