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What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

Dating In The Pandemic

Dating In The Pandemic

In these unprecedented and strange times, planning ahead seems impossible due to the uncertainty around and the doomsday scenarios in the news.
Initiating and navigating a new relationship now has an extra (and not too small) obstacle of a virus threatening humanity across the planet.

The ongoing pandemic has done the unthinkable: It has slowed us down, freezing time for a while. This affects our blossoming romances in ways not documented before.

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What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/48485/1/dating-someone-under-coronavirus-quarantine-social-isolation

dazeddigital.com

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Key Ideas

Dating In The Pandemic

In these unprecedented and strange times, planning ahead seems impossible due to the uncertainty around and the doomsday scenarios in the news.
Initiating and navigating a new relationship now has an extra (and not too small) obstacle of a virus threatening humanity across the planet.

The ongoing pandemic has done the unthinkable: It has slowed us down, freezing time for a while. This affects our blossoming romances in ways not documented before.

Lockdown In A New Relationship

Being in Lockdown or in a quarantine complicates dating in unexpected ways, raises some previously unheard questions (like who’s got a more ‘apocalypse’ friendly place) and makes partners feel as if they are already in the boring part of a relationship without any of the initial romance or spark.

Love During Quarantine

  • Constantly sharing updates about the pandemic with your new partner is not a good idea.
  • Social distancing etiquette (hello elbow bumps) may feel awkward, and FaceTime video chats can feel a bit too intimate and over-the-top after a while, as the other person is still a practical stranger.

Apartment Date

If meeting in person, like a dinner date in an apartment, do not discuss anything about the virus. 

Provide yourself and your partner space to know each other, having deep conversations with soothing music. The news can wait.

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Creating routines

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How to respond to the "invisible work"

During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.

  • In one direction, you are curious and say, "I never knew. I really appreciate it. I realize how I let you do everything." It becomes a source of connection.
  • It the other direction, it becomes a source of blame where you want to complain and tell your partner just how much you are doing. This way, you're not going to get help.

How people should fight

Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.

  • Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.

  • Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.

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Internet And Marriage

At least one-third of all marriages in the U. S. are now between partners who met online and researchers say online meeting-based marriages happen more quickly after the first date.

The Non-Divisive Effect

Before the Internet, dating was mostly restricted by one’s social and geographical limitations with friends of friends being the most common method of introduction. The Internet pairs couples that wouldn’t even meet otherwise.

Research also indicates that you're more likely to date someone from a different race if you're dating online, by a factor of about 7 percent. 

Combating Social Stratification

There's a troubling trend towards exclusive, private membership-based dating apps that only allow very rich or very popular people, essentially creating a dating bubble that socially isolates people by class.

By using less restrictive apps we have the widest possible pools of potential dates, rather than aspiring to something more exclusive, we're keeping ourselves open to more random love connections that cut across lines of race and class and everything else that divides us. We're doing our part to keep society more open, less stratified. 

Good Relationships Take Work

Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to inve...

Your Partner’s Flaws

Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love." 

Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.

Going To Bed Angry

The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.

Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.

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