Lockdown In A New Relationship

Being in Lockdown or in a quarantine complicates dating in unexpected ways, raises some previously unheard questions (like who’s got a more ‘apocalypse’ friendly place) and makes partners feel as if they are already in the boring part of a relationship without any of the initial romance or spark.

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What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

dazeddigital.com

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Dating In The Pandemic

In these unprecedented and strange times, planning ahead seems impossible due to the uncertainty around and the doomsday scenarios in the news.
Initiating and navigating a new relationship now has an extra (and not too small) obstacle of a virus threatening humanity across the planet.

The ongoing pandemic has done the unthinkable: It has slowed us down, freezing time for a while. This affects our blossoming romances in ways not documented before.

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  • Constantly sharing updates about the pandemic with your new partner is not a good idea.
  • Social distancing etiquette (hello elbow bumps) may feel awkward, and FaceTime video chats can feel a bit too intimate and over-the-top after a while, as the other person is still a practical stranger.

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If meeting in person, like a dinner date in an apartment, do not discuss anything about the virus. 

Provide yourself and your partner space to know each other, having deep conversations with soothing music. The news can wait.

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Creating routines

Too much is expected of modern relationships: your partner is supposed to fulfil roles that historically used to be spread out within communal structures. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, lover, psychotherapist, child-care co-worker, and dishwasher.

What is essential during a crisis is to create boundaries, routines, and rituals. As best as possible, separate daytime and evening, week time and weekend, working time and idle time, family time and individual time. Routine creates a structure and brings a certain sense of order.

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“This Is What Happens to Couples Under Stress”: An Interview with Esther Perel

newyorker.com

  • The world is used to seeing people performing in the iconic public streets and podiums all across the planet, it is a strange sight now, with near-total emptiness and silence as ‘Quarantine’ becomes the rule.

  • Performance artists, who usually rely on small and big crowds, are now springing up in their homes and balconies, and of course, online, live-streaming their performances to the entire world while being isolated from it.

  • Even though most of the events, news, interaction and performances are now online, whatever is left of our confined lives has started to appear more real.

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The Pandemic Is Remaking What Performance Can Be

newyorker.com

Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to invest attention and work even in the best of times.

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10 Common Relationship Myths (and Why They're All Wrong)

psychologytoday.com