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What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

Lockdown In A New Relationship

Being in Lockdown or in a quarantine complicates dating in unexpected ways, raises some previously unheard questions (like who’s got a more ‘apocalypse’ friendly place) and makes partners feel as if they are already in the boring part of a relationship without any of the initial romance or spark.

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What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

What it's like to start dating someone under quarantine

https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/48485/1/dating-someone-under-coronavirus-quarantine-social-isolation

dazeddigital.com

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Key Ideas

Dating In The Pandemic

In these unprecedented and strange times, planning ahead seems impossible due to the uncertainty around and the doomsday scenarios in the news.
Initiating and navigating a new relationship now has an extra (and not too small) obstacle of a virus threatening humanity across the planet.

The ongoing pandemic has done the unthinkable: It has slowed us down, freezing time for a while. This affects our blossoming romances in ways not documented before.

Lockdown In A New Relationship

Being in Lockdown or in a quarantine complicates dating in unexpected ways, raises some previously unheard questions (like who’s got a more ‘apocalypse’ friendly place) and makes partners feel as if they are already in the boring part of a relationship without any of the initial romance or spark.

Love During Quarantine

  • Constantly sharing updates about the pandemic with your new partner is not a good idea.
  • Social distancing etiquette (hello elbow bumps) may feel awkward, and FaceTime video chats can feel a bit too intimate and over-the-top after a while, as the other person is still a practical stranger.

Apartment Date

If meeting in person, like a dinner date in an apartment, do not discuss anything about the virus. 

Provide yourself and your partner space to know each other, having deep conversations with soothing music. The news can wait.

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How to respond to the "invisible work"

During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.

  • In one direction, you are curious and say, "I never knew. I really appreciate it. I realize how I let you do everything." It becomes a source of connection.
  • It the other direction, it becomes a source of blame where you want to complain and tell your partner just how much you are doing. This way, you're not going to get help.

How people should fight

Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.

  • Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.

  • Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.

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Redefining love

The current global epidemic has transformed relationships, dating, and sex. 

Lovers and family members are suffering aching separations as borders have closed. Weddings have been post...

Redefining communities

  • The pandemic is influencing and changing the way we define a community, with people across the world gathering every day on balconies to applaud medical workers, perform music and even run marathons.
  • Millions of single people stuck indoors have turned to the internet to go on virtual yoga dates, attend karaoke parties or blow out candles at WhatsApp birthday get-togethers.

The shortness of life

Lockdowns around the globe are giving rise to a new togetherness for some and amplifying friction and conflict for others.
The external global context makes you realize that life is short. So if someone is in a bad relationship, they're probably going to decide to leave while they still can. Or the total opposite, decide that they might as well get married and have kids.

Good Relationships Take Work

Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to inve...

Your Partner’s Flaws

Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love." 

Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.

Going To Bed Angry

The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.

Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.

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