Should

Albert Ellis told people they'd be much happier if they removed the word "should" from their vocabulary. "Should" is denial. You're saying your expectations deserve to override reality:

• "My kids shouldn't be misbehaving!" (News flash: they are.)
• "Traffic shouldn't be this bad!" (Um, but it is.)
• "It shouldn't be raining!" (Say it louder. Complaining might work this time.)

Denial is irrational, and as we just learned, irrational beliefs are where negative emotions come from. So the first step is to accept reality. But that doesn't mean you have to be passive.