Truth is that there’s no such thing as a personal problem. If you’ve got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to have it in the future. Likely people you know too. That doesn’t minimize the problem or mean that it shouldn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you aren’t legitimately a victim in some circumstances.It just means that you’re not special.

You Are Not Special

Everyone and their TV commercial want you to believe that the key to a good life is a more admirable job, a more rugged car, a prettier girlfriend, or a hot tub with an inflatable pool for the kids. The world constantly tells you that the path to a better life is more, more, more—buy more, own more, make more, f*ck more, be more. You are constantly bombarded with messages to give a f*ck about everything, all the time. Give a f*ck about a new TV. Give a f*ck about having a better vacation than your coworkers. Give a f*ck about buying that new lawn ornament. Give a f*ck about the latest gadget.

How Consumerism Works

Life itself is a form of suffering. The rich suffer because of their riches. The poor suffer because of their poverty. People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with a family suffer because of their family. People who pursue worldly pleasures suffer because of their worldly pleasures. People who abstain from worldly pleasures suffer because of their abstention.This isn’t to say that all suffering is equal. Some suffering is certainly more painful than other suffering. But we all must suffer nonetheless.

About Suffering

Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is “solving.” If you’re avoiding your problems or feel like you don’t have any problems, then you’re going to make yourself miserable. If you feel like you have problems that you can’t solve, you will likewise make yourself miserable. The secret sauce is in the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity, not something that is passively awarded to you, not something that you magically discover in a top G-articles.

Where Happiness Comes From?

Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress—the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for “tomorrow’s problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.Sometimes those problems are simple: eating good food, traveling to some new place, winning at the new video game you just bought. Other times those problems are abstract and complicated: fixing your relationship with your mother, finding a career you can feel good about, developing better friendships.

Happiness is a Continuous Activity

The rare people who do become truly exceptional at something do so not because they believe they’re exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing because they’re obsessed with improvement. And that obsession with improvement stems from an unerring belief that they are, in fact, not that great at all.It’s anti-entitlement.People who become great at something become great because they understand that they’re not already great—they are mediocre, they are average—and that they could be so much better.

Anti Entitlement

Consumer culture is very good at making us want more & more. Underneath all the hype & marketing is the implication that more is always better. I bought into this idea for years. Make more money, visit more countries, and have more experiences.More is not always better. In fact, the opposite is true. We are actually often happier with less. When we’re overloaded with options, we suffer from what psychologists call the paradox of choice.The more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.

Freedom Through Commitment

“My guess: because giving a f*ck about more stuff is good for their business.And while there’s nothing wrong with good business, the problem is that giving too many f*cks is bad for your mental peace & health. It causes you to become overly attached to the superficial and fake, to dedicate your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and satisfaction.The key to a good life is not giving a f*ck about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less, giving a f*ck about only what is true and immediate and important.”-Mark Manson.

Why They Do So?

A counterintuitive Approach to a good life, Helps us to be Happier, Stronger. Stop trying to be positive all the time.

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

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Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

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