You can probably figure out what your language is... - Deepstash

Bite-sized knowledge

to upgrade

your career

Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.

You can probably figure out what your language is by simply giving it a little thought, but Chapman offers a 30-question quiz on his website . This is helpful because, if you identify with more than one language, the quiz tells you which ones stand out most. It might feel silly as you take it, but seriously, do it. The results will break down how highly you rank for each language, as you can see in the example below. (If you don't feel like taking it online, you can also download the PDF version of the quiz here ).




Love languages can't fix everything, of course. They're not going to solve your joint money problems, for example. They're not going to make your in-laws more tolerable or get your partner to help out more around the house. But the concept does go a long way in communicating better, and we all kn...

As Chapman points out, there are different "dialects" for each language, too. For example, my primary language is quality time, but I also express and feel affection through words of affirmation and physical touch to some degree.

It can help in business, too. Business strategist Marie Forleo says the love languages concept is her "secret weapon" in maintaining a happy team . As a leader, she finds out how each person on her team feels appreciated, and she ca...

This term was coined by longtime relationship counselor Gary Chapman. His book,

In short, knowing what makes you tick and what doesn't can help you empathize with people a little better .

In his own words, here's how Chapman breaks down the five love languages in his book:

Chances are, you can relate to a few of these. Maybe you relate to all of them. But most of us have one or two that are much more important to us than the others, and it's different for everyone. As Ch...

In his own words, here's how Chapman breaks down the five love languages in his book:

"I hate talking on the phone," he said. "So I don't do it. I don't know why that hurts people's feelings."

I've found that the concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship, not just romantic ones. It's useful to understand what matters to people.

Getting to know a person in a romantic relationship is a gradual process. Over time, you learn more and more about them, including their likes and dislikes, and how they think.

It took time to realize that his love language is 100 percent words of affirmation and zero percent quality time or acts of service. It seems strange to me, but that's him, and that's how he expresses (or doesn't express) affection. Once I got that, his lack of phone calls stopped hurting my feel...

When I realized "gifting" wasn't his love language at all, everything suddenly made a lot of sense, and I learned to show that I care in ways that speak to him. And conversely, when I do give gifts, he now understands that's my way of saying I love you, and it means more to him now.

That's sort of the idea behind the concept of love languages : they let you in on what makes your partner tick. The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differ...

When you know what your partner does and doesn't care about, it's a pretty big eye opener. For example, for years, I've been giving my significant other small gifts to show that I care. I put a lot of thought into those gifts, and I loved surprising him. It would piss me off when he'd receive the...

Overall, it all comes down to knowing what's important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better. Everyone is different. We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.

Of course, the concept is also helpful in simply expressing your love in the best possible way. For my fiancé's birthdays, I'd always put a huge amount of thought into his physical gift. Now that I know quality time is more important to him, I cater to that instead. I put more energy into plannin...



It's time to




Jump-start your

reading habits

, gather your



remember what you read

and stay ahead of the crowd!

Takes just 5 minutes a day.


+2M Installs

4.7 App Score