6. Identify patterns

Look for behaviors that have a ripple effect, and change your other behaviors without extra effort. 

Also, pay attention to how you see yourself when you do a particular habit: Does it change your self-image? Do you feel better when you think of yourself as a person?

There are certain predictable situations, times, events and triggers where anger appears. Sometimes when we act spontaneously or reactively, the other person can get stressed and defensive, and the symptoms for those emotions can be misinterpreted as anger.

A way out of this is to approach ...

• Look for transparency. Sometimes the tendency is for employees to hide, withdraw, stonewall, or put on the mask to avoid tough situations or conflict. And that mask hides who they truly are in challenging, customer-facing situations requiring quick thinking.