How to Handle Other People's Anger Like a Pro
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When we criticize the anger, we are providing fuel to the fire, leading to further aggression on the angry person's part. If we ignore and give in, we are setting a wrong example and the person learns that it is ok and effective to be angry.
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
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Anger leads us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. However, some anger leads to more significant consequences, like strained relationships or legal trouble.
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Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
While you can't control your emotions of anger directly, you have control over your aggression, which is a decision to express your anger.
Aggression does not only involve acts of violence. Being overly-critical or judgmental of someone in your mind is an act of aggression, as is replying sarcastically or rolling your eyes at someone.
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Relationships nowadays are regularly in the doldrums, with certain factors that tend to ruin them. These same factors can be ‘reverse-engineered’ to help us strengthen and improve these relations.
When someone talks about their problems, we are jumping in the problem-solving mode straight away. While dealing with people, this approach can backfire. A better approach is to just listen and validate their struggles, make them feel heard and understood.
Many times, the external appearance of behaviour isn’t the full story and has underlying functions. It is just a symptom and not the problem.
Example: When a teenager is mad for no reason, it helps to understand the underlying problems they usually have in this age, and be compassionate.
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When you feel anger, try controlling your breath. This will result in your entire body instantly calming down. Remember, anger can never prove productive.
Whenever you feel angry, try repeating certain phrases that you know for a fact that will calm you down. If you do not have them already prepared, take a few minutes during a normal day to think about what these phrases could sound like.
Fancying a happy and calm place whenever you are angry helps you deal better with the negative feeling. Furthermore, focusing on both your breathing and your environment has a positive effect on your mood and allows you to relax.
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