<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Assess the healthy quotient of your closest relationships. Are they are a drain on your finite sources of energy or a boost of positive energy? Be honest. Edit or eliminate accordingingly. Amazing things, unexpected things, begin to happen when we leave room for others to enter into our lives.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Examine assumptions of what you think you have to do or have in your life – people you “have” to have in your life, relationships that are supposed to bring happiness. Who taught you each assumption? What do they have to gain from teaching you these beliefs?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Start making small decisions for yourself.</li></ol>

How Can We Begin to Make Our Own Choices? (cont.)

“Choice confers freedom.” <a href="https://amzn.to/37SmoCz"> </a>

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Having such choice can be paralyzing to some when they have found comfort in not having to choose for themselves - as when they gave this power to someone else, they are assured that what they do in their lives is already approved by those in their lives.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In other words, when we abstain from being the “chooser” of our lives, we miss the opportunity of understanding who we are most sincerely, what are true self actually is. </li></ul>

Be The Chooser In Your Own Life 

Without realizing it, you may be negatively impacting your effectiveness by seeking others’ approval. This is because you probably avoid doing things that are important to you, feel anxious about trying new things outside your comfort zone, and get stuck worrying about what others might expect from you. Needing approval may lead you to reject potential opportunities, because you’re too anxious and believe your performance has to be perfect. It may cause you to fear failing so much that you give up before you start.

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Learn how to say the word, the complete sentence, “No.” with confidence and without hesitation and without following it up with an apology or the feeling of guilt. Guilt is the weapon used by those who wish to disrespect our boundaries. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Stop asking for recommendations and let yourself explore, taste-test, follow where your eye and your curiosities take you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Remind yourself that it is not your responsiblity to make other people happy. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness, and likewise, it is the other person's choice how to choose to be happy too, not ours to do so.</li></ol>

How Can We Begin to Make Our Own Choices? (cont.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Having choices puts the onus on us which for anyone who has not been given such a responsiblity can cause trepidation, but with nearly anything worth pursuing, the outcome is never guaranteed, but also never achieved if never attempted. Attempt it anyway.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Attempting, making the choice, seizing the opportunities that speak to our curiosities becomes easier when we know ourselves more fully and completely. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">And the beautiful paradox is that we only come to know ourselves completely if we start making our own choices.</li></ul>

By Making Choices, We Get To Know Ourselves Better 

<ol><li>Quiet yourself long enough to hear your curiosities speak. Do this regularly. Your path forward will not be straight, but beautifully curvy and full of adventure and discoveries.</li><li>Eliminate comparison with others, but if you choose to compare, only compare yourself to whom you were yesterday.</li><li>Be financially independent regardless of your relationship status.</li></ol>

How Can We Begin to Make Our Own Choices? 

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Choice is freedom. Anyone who tries to limit or take away your choice is consciously or unconsciously trying to take away your freedom. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">While we cannot control another, we can control ourselves. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Give yourself the most awesome gift you can give by vowing to never squander your freedom of choice. And to never squander others of their freedom to make their own choices too. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Have patience with yourself, have confidence in yourself. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Let yourself become excited about the possibilities of what having choice in your life could eventually create or bring into your daily experience.</li></ul>

Choice Is Freedom To You And Others Too

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Start making small decisions for yourself if you are new to doing so, and celebrate how your life begins to elevate. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">At a pace that is comfortable for you, begin to make larger, more significant, more in-alignment-with-your-true-self decisions, and watch as your life transforms for the better.</li></ul>

Start Small 

In becoming the chooser you are letting go of other people’s journeys as well, and letting them become the chooser for themselves. But the more you model how to navigate well your own life, you teach others to have the courage to do it as well.

Having the opportunity to choose our path forward — the career path, the relationships to engage in or walk away from, the investments of our time, attention and money — is to live a life of freedom.

Truly resonating with this article - I am appreciating the people around me for always giving me the freedom to make my own choices. I can also see how living a life that I chose myself has also empowered others to have the courage to follow their passion too. Choice is indeed freedom, in many ways. ❤️ Having the courage to start making our own choices, and to realise that we do have the power to choose in our own lives is indeed empowering. ❤️ We chose our stretch. 😊

"Choice confers freedom." —Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance Having the opportunity to choose our path forward — the career path, the relationships to enga

ILENE STRAUSS COHEN PH.D.

Similar ideas

Learn to grow outside of your comfort zone

Your Anxiety Shows What's Important To You

Fanfiction teaches you...