👎 Deep Emotions

You don’t have to feel your counterpart’s emotions to understand them better. You can label them. It means validating and acknowledging them.

The most effective labels of emotions start with phrases like:

• It seems like… you feel ...
• It sounds like… you feel ...

We assume outside events cause our anger or anxiety. But emotions are made by your brain as you need them. 

This means the more you know and understand emotions, the more you can influence how your brain will construct them. 

Even though you may intellectually know you're not ok,if you're in the habit of avoiding talking about how you feel, you’re training your brain to think that painful feelings are things to be avoided and feared and that is a set-up for emotional fragility and pain.

By taking even 3 seconds ...