Look, I don’t want to be your online mom, ok? But I will say many things she would say.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First of all, play with your friends outside. I know video games are fantastic. I spent ten years on World of Warcraft and League of Legends. But if you want to build long-term friendships, you have to meet people in person.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Second, don’t search for relationships online. Most people don’t get to know the love of their life on Tinder. Some will build relationships on Facebook or Instagram. But nothing can outmatch real life. </li></ul>So, search your friends and partners offline, or at least try to.

How to solve it

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The Challenge

I wrote about instant and <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/delayed-gratification-to-help-improve-your-life/">delayed gratification </a>many times in my career. But even if I know the benefits, my brain still uses the first to get its validation.Once again, social media are the problem. But not because they exist. But because they taught us to expect fast results.No, it’s wrong. It may have been like this in the beginning. But many people try to achieve the same goal online nowadays. And it has become quite challenging and stressful to emerge.Instant results are worthless. You may go viral today. But tomorrow, nobody will know your name.

7 – Expecting immediate results.

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Before you go

It’s painful when you get up in the morning already stressed out.You wake up at 6 a.m. And your to-do list taunts you with notifications. So, you drink a hot coffee. You race through emails in 10 seconds. You dash out the door. And you’re on your way to work – but they are waiting for you with open arms and hundreds of problems.Sounds familiar?

Stressing out because of bad habits

I have a young audience. So, some of you won’t know what I am about to say. But let me be a boomer for once. (I hope this will be the only time I have to do this.)I still remember the dopamine running through my veins every time one of my friends wrote me on MSN. That was the first free chat we ever experienced. And we used to stick to it every time we got home.Everybody tried to personalize their messages as they could. We all wanted to build a brand for ourselves. And MSN was something magical that filled our afternoons with dopamine.But we still met in person (that’s the boomer part).

4 – Online social networking. (1)

Overthinking is the millennial pandemic.Everyone has lost their mind over a wrong decision made in the past. But nowadays, the phenomenon has become systemic.People love to live in their past instead of thinking about their future. And when that future hits them on the nose, they start crying and look back to see what hit them.Do you see the irony?

1 – Overthinking past failures.

I don’t know any quick fixes for this kind of problem. If you are afraid to be alone, there is only one solution – be alone.But there are a few things you should focus on during this time to make things easier.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Predict your future and try to understand how to reach your goals.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Then, think about the steps you have to take to get there.</li></ul>

Living in a messy environment creates many problems. I know that it is hard to trust me on this. But it’s true.Here are a few examples of things that might happen.You may experience brain fog or indecisiveness. You are used to messy places, so don’t rearrange the thoughts in your brain. You forget about commitments, miss deadlines, and become a distrustful person.Take care of your environment and tidy your apartment at least once a week.

3 – Living in a messy environment.

Life’s a rollercoaster of sad and happy moments and everything in between. And you can’t always stay on the top. When I was younger, I forced myself to think I didn’t care. I hated my schoolmates when they didn’t invite me to parties. But I lied to myself that I didn’t need them. Still, all those emotions sum up over time. And once they become too much, they crush your soul and mental health.I cried in my room many times because I had no friends. But you can solve the problem only if you stop lying to yourself first. You will understand the problem and find a solution.

2 – Control your feelings.

Working towards a goal is unthinkable without feedback. But success and recognition shouldn’t be your feedback in the first place.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Work with a purpose, something you want to achieve that goes beyond materialistic rewards.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Use people’s words as feedback and try to help them whenever possible. It will be the most fulfilling experience in your life.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Aim for long-term projects that impact your life in more than one way. Those are the things to live for.</li></ul>

Messy Environments = Unclear Thoughts is a connection we have known for ages. William H. McRaven even wrote a book on this problem and its solutions – <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249">Make Your Bed </a>. But messy people will always tend to leave everything scattered around the room. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Declutter your work environment every week. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make your bed every day. You will build a healthy habit and learn to keep things in order. Also, it doesn’t take much time.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Declutter your home at least once a month. Throw away things you don’t need anymore or pack them.</li></ul>

Take care of your mental health more than anything else. Fix those bad habits that make you overthink, undermine your value, or doubt your worth. And then proceed to succeed.[<a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">SUBSCRIBE</a> TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC ]

I never tried to hide that social eating is my way of connecting with people. And I use it whenever I can.I love to try new food and cuisines. And I have a sweet tooth. But that forces me to work out. Otherwise, I would be way overweight.Working out is the only way I have to eat whatever I want. That’s how I reframed my mind around it. And I use this excuse to be consistent.But working out doesn’t only keep you fit. It also helps you become more disciplined. It gives you energy and willpower. And it can also get you friends if you commit to a team game.

5 – Not working out.

Mindfulness is the opposite of overthinking. You elevate your mind to a higher reality and remove yourself from the stream of thoughts. And, even if a thought catches your attention, you learn to stop the stream.Start with mindfulness if you want to learn how to control your thoughts. But if that’s too much, try smaller steps:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Self-esteem exercises help you value your choices.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reality round-ups force you to look at everything you did right.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Gratitude exercises help you appreciate everything you have achieved until now.</li></ul>

When you try to control an emotion, you must think you did something wrong. And instead of faking the results, search for a solution to never live that moment again.But pay attention!Usually, when I tell people to analyze their mistakes, they find problems in their beliefs and identity. But never change who you are for others. So, think about what you can do differently instead.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Never trust identity issues that make you think you are a failure.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And find ways you can do things better next time.</li></ul>

Nowadays, social networking is not a tool for the offline life anymore. It has replaced offline activities.“I use it to talk with my friends who live far away” – I know. That excuse got old. Find another one.So, how can you solve the online social networking trap?

4 – Online social networking. (2)

Most of the people I know hate to spend time by themselves. They are afraid to be alone for more than a few hours. And they will do everything to distract themselves instead of facing their fears.Luckily, I don’t have this problem anymore. I spent so much time alone that I got used to it. And now, I need it for my well-being.Lone time feeds you perspectives. It helps you work on your projects, ideas, and purpose. It gives you time to breathe and reflect. And never be afraid of being alone.

6 – Never spend time alone.

I used to live this kind of life a few years ago. I ran towards productivity, compared myself with others, and skipped sleeping hours only to be the best. But you can never succeed if you treat yourself like an object. Anxiety will soon reach out. And a brutal wake-up call will take your breath away (unfortunately, not in a good way.)Yet, this isn’t just my story. Millions of people live the same toxic cycle. But you can break free. Here are 7 habits that can crush your mental health and how to avoid them.

7 Habits that can Crush Your Mental Health

I found a convenient way to reframe my mind and work out. But not everyone loves to eat. Yet, everyone needs to work out for their physical and mental health.It’s simple – find an advantageous trade to trick your mind into doing it.For example, you could work out because:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">you want to feel more confident and attract more partners</li><li class="ql-align-justify">you want to live healthier </li><li class="ql-align-justify">or you don’t want to change your eating habits, but they may cause you problems.</li></ul>

Safeguard your mental health! Learn to identify and avoid 7 harmful habits that can impact your well-being. Discover proactive strategies to nurture mental health and cultivate a balanced lifestyle.

Safeguard your mental health! Learn to identify and avoid 7 harmful habits that can impact your well-being. Prioritize your wellness today!

6 – Never spend time alone.

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How to spend time alone

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Alone time