Research <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-05027-021">shows</a> that viewing criticism as a judgment on one’s abilities can lead to lower self-worth, lower positive mood.Use a helpful<a href="https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/the-power-to-decide-how-you-feel-9550c0c7"> metacognitive approach</a>—one that moves the focus from emotion to analysis.Set up an internal affirmation such as: “I don’t care what this feedback says about the person giving it, and I choose not to see it as a personal attack on me. I will assess it on its face about the matter at hand—nothing more, nothing less.”

1. It’s not personal (even when it’s personal).

Once you depersonalize criticism in this way, you can start to see it for what it is: a rare glimpse into what outsiders think about your performance, and thus a potential opportunity to correct course and improve. If this doesn’t come easily to you, one way to develop the grit to do so is to ask friends or colleagues whom you like and trust to form a critics’ circle, reviewing one another’s work and giving honest suggestions.This is one way to lose much of your fear of critics.

2. Treat criticism like insider information.

Consider Isaac Newton. In 1672, at age 29, he published a<a href="https://oll.libertyfund.org/publications/reading-room/2023-07-12-donway-isaac-newton-part-one"> paper on light and colors</a> of which he was probably quite proud. Most critics received it favorably, save for one: Robert Hooke, a well-regarded scientist and inventor, who wrote a <a href="https://www.newtonproject.ox.ac.uk/view/texts/normalized/NATP00005">condescending critique</a> of Newton’s paper. As legend has it, Newton was so angry at Hooke that he <a href="https://royalsociety.org/blog/2010/12/hooke-newton-and-the-missing-portrait/">slashed every portrait</a> of Hooke he could find, which is why, per the tale, none exists today.

Accept criticism better!

If I am criticizing to help, I am doing it right; if I am doing it to harm, I am doing it wrong. To keep critical feedback in the first category, the research tells us that it should have <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1871187117301529?casa_token=kdYNfvng5DUAAAAA:za6TBzX5T_aAA-Bs9u1772PpWN48UOhyBlsNERtvLDzUS51iX00TtXwXgAZxH3phaxHjS0_Fzw">five elements</a>: the care of the recipient in mind; respectful delivery; good intentions; a pathway to improvement; and appropriate targeting of the recipient’s needs.

3. Make criticism a gift, never a weapon.

Scholars writing in 2014 <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.2753/MER1052-8008240201">showed</a> that positive feedback given to students in public was 9 percent more motivating than when given privately, while negative feedback in private was 11 percent more motivating than in public.

4. Praise in public, criticize in private.

Four rules backed by research for giving and accepting critical feedback.

Being able to accept a bad review and use it constructively is not just an essential life skill; it will also make you happier.

2. Treat criticism like insider information.

Similar ideas to 2. Treat criticism like insider information.

7 Ways to Improve Your Ability to Deliver Criticism

Only 30 Seconds! -part2