Beliefs
They should note down on what basis they actually set their belief system which cause them to trigger.
What are those events and circumstances cause them to build such beliefs for themselves and why?
Try to avoid those triggers by giving yourselves some new opposite experience so to make them new perspectives to have.
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Being an INFJ... " Every soul has to taste death' one day, so be kind to everyone, even when he's your enemy "
Changing your behavior requires an understanding of what is triggering you, causing your beliefs and behaviors, and leading to negative or positive consequences. Without this understanding it will be hard to change what is causing the problem.
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