The ‘Apology Gift’

While apologizing, a certain cost has to be paid up. The point of this cost is not to benefit or enrich the recipient of the ‘Apology Gift’ but the sacrifice or the hurt the giver is willing to undergo.

For Example, an offer to cancel a weekend trip in order to spend that time with the partner.

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Communication

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

The Rules Of Sorry
  • Accept Responsibility.
  • Acknowledge harm and suffering that you may have caused.
  • Do make a promise of future correction of the mistake.
  • Be sincere.
  • Make an offer of an immediate remedy.
  • Don't forget to include the words ‘sorry’ or ‘apologize’.

A recent study in a marketing journal advises to use gratitude, and start with a note of thanks towards what has been endured by the recipient.

For Example, Saying “Thank you for your patience’ instead of ‘Sorry for the wait’.

... along with justifications is all we normally blurt out during a heated discussion or argument, and it just makes things worse.

Focus on the present and the future, and not try to justify the past.

  • An apology is useless if spoken too soon. It is important to first let the grieving party speak their minds.
  • For public figures, the sincerity of the apology is trickier, as their public apology (to a grieving party or family member) may sound good to the world but may not be enough for the recipient.

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RELATED IDEAS

What forgiveness is

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or minimising the pain we feel; nor is it about excusing others. 

Forgiveness means making a conscious and deliberate decision to let go of our feelings of resentment or revenge, regardless of whether the person who has upset us deserves it.

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IDEAS

When people focus on their core values, they seem to become more willing to sincerely apologize. 

By understanding the many barriers to an apology— the indifference to another’s pain or the fraying of a relationship—we can glimpse what’s holding us back from saying “I’m sorry” in a particular situation. 

From there, we have the opportunity to change course and let the healing begin.

A perfect apology has to be without ego, an expression of genuine regret, and the assumption of full responsibility: I am so sorry that you were hurt, this accident is completely my fault, and I really was going too fast, and too carelessly.

A botched or half-hearted apology taints the act of apologising, not leaving space for any further apology to arise from the other person.

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