Three different advice personas
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The best way to tame your advice monster is to replace it with a new habit of staying curious. Questions that may help you achieve this:
When somebody asks you for advice about something, and before you can gain the full context, your 'advice monster' is like, "Oh, oh, I've got something to say here."
The problem is not with giving advice, but when giving advice becomes your default response.
As soon as somebody starts talking, your advice monster wakes up with, "Oh, I'm going to add some value to this conversation!"
Learn to tame your advice monster. To train it, you need to understand it.
Your advice monster is really saying that you are better than the other person and they are not good enough.
However, you are losing that connection to your humanity, your empathy, your compassion, and your sense of vulnerability.
In a startup, if you want to grow as fast as your company, you have to give away your job every couple months.
At a scaling startup, giving away responsibility is the only way to move on to building bigger and better things.
This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot. If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off.
It's important to use empathy, but don’t get too friendly. Take a careful balance between making someone like you and asserting your authority.
It happens when one rushes to provide advice, which is most likely to be discarded or ignored, even if the person was asked for it.
Even with good intentions, providing advice isn’t necessarily a good idea. We normally do not welcome any advice provided to us, with a natural reflexive repulsion towards being told what is to be done by someone else.
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