deepstash
Beta
Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:
Read more efficiently
Save what inspires you
Remember anything
6
Key Ideas
Save all ideas
When somebody asks you for advice about something, and before you can gain the full context, your 'advice monster' is like, "Oh, oh, I've got something to say here."
The problem is not with giving advice, but when giving advice becomes your default response.
604 SAVES
2.11k READS
659 SAVES
1.40k READS
As soon as somebody starts talking, your advice monster wakes up with, "Oh, I'm going to add some value to this conversation!"
Learn to tame your advice monster. To train it, you need to understand it.
534 SAVES
1.19k READS
581 SAVES
1.13k READS
Your advice monster is really saying that you are better than the other person and they are not good enough.
However, you are losing that connection to your humanity, your empathy, your compassion, and your sense of vulnerability.
537 SAVES
1.06k READS
The best way to tame your advice monster is to replace it with a new habit of staying curious. Questions that may help you achieve this:
843 SAVES
1.32k READS
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
6
Key Ideas
It happens when one rushes to provide advice, which is most likely to be discarded or ignored, even if the person was asked for it.
Even with good intentions, providing advice isn’...
When someone mentions a problem, it most likely isn’t the core problem but only an outward symptom.
Even if by some miracle one is able to find out the real problem, it does not mean that the advice doled out will be useful or will be implemented.
Most people are ignorant of their ignorance and live in a self-created bubble of superficial knowledge, which they believe is the only true knowledge there is, due to a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect.
A piece of straightforward advice doled out to be followed to the tee, is often due to lack of knowledge, rather than because of it.
5
Key Ideas
5
Key Ideas
This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot. If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off.
It's important to use empath...
To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it.
When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.
In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance.
When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.