Situationships are opposite of love at first sight, you get nudged over and over as if you've joined a cult of two.

Level 1: Ad﻿miration 🤩This level is just a mind trick and should not be given too much importance.Level 2: Mutual Attraction ❤️ It feels good, but just because there is mutual attraction does not mean our intentions will align.Level 3: Commitment 🔐 Commitment can be compared to two people discovering a plot of land together that seems to have potential. If one does not say yes, they lose all value attributed to them.Level 4: Compatibility 👫Who is great at managing our freakouts? Whose freakouts are we great at managing? Can even our differences be a source of pleasure?

4 Levels Of Importance

Never forget the fundamental, deeper truth: the love of your life can only ever be the person who chooses you for their life.

<ul>
 <li>They go out of their way to avoid sharing a single word that leads to a true sense of intimacy.</li>
 <li>They are more dangerous than liars because they depend on our unwillingness to face painful truths.</li>
 <li>Actively ensure that you are not enabling an avoider by being one. ⚠️</li>
 <li>If your relationship gets worse by speaking the truth, you are in the wrong relationship.</li>
</ul>

Beware of Avoiders 🚫

Our compassion must include ourselves.
We must understand that everyone makes mistakes, including ourselves. We are all worthy of kindness and respect, regardless of our flaws. 
At birth, you were given the responsibility to take care of yourself for life. Love yourself and treat yourself with love and respect, just as you would treat someone else you were responsible for. 🌸

Love Yourself

If someone is interested in you, they may show it through: 👀<ol><li>Asking questions to get to know you more</li><li>Continuing the conversation even after it ends</li><li>Actively making plans to spend time with you</li><li>Creating a cozy atmosphere for you to feel at ease</li></ol>Remember: There are plenty of people who desire the experience of having a partner but have no real intention of being a partner themselves.

Signs of Intention

Happy enough begins with us first radically accepting where we are now and then concluding that if nothing changes, we will actually be okay.When we are happy enough, we can cheerfully say no to bad treatment, disrespect, or behavior that simply doesn't fit with the culture of our life. We can also say no to someone who has different intentions, regardless of whether we have someone to replace them.

Be Happy Enough

1. Talking badly about multiple exes.
2. Treating people badly when they don't think you are looking.
3. Love bombing.
<ul>
 <li>If a person is deeply into you, the last thing they would want to do is screw it up by coming on too strong. </li>
 <li>If you notice unearned speed and intensity, it is not necessary to have perfect judgement of whether it is a red flag. Simply suggest a slower pace.</li>
</ul>
4. Not saying sorry.
5. Consistently not keeping promises.
6. Inconsistency in communication.

Red Flags

Hard conversations arise from having a standard within ourselves, which establishes a route for our external standard.
Any painful conversation today, that saves us from the anguish of future regret, should be moved to the top of our list of priorities.
Our greatest fear should be wasting our life on someone who won't make us happy, not scaring them away.
Hard conversations tend to become even harder as time goes by. The longer our needs go unmet, the more they harden into deep resentment and anger.

Having Hard Conversations

Not sure why people are distant? Don't blame yourself. Honesty is hard and sometimes overwhelming.
Noticed someone distancing themselves? Maybe they're feeling too much pressure too soon.
Possible Reasons for Coldness:
<ol>
 <li>Fear of vulnerability</li>
 <li>Feeling rushed or pressured</li>
 <li>Need for independence</li>
</ol>
Understanding these reasons can help you communicate better and strengthen relationships. 😊
Example: Imagine someone with no experience being asked to be the CEO starting tomorrow. 😬

Why Do People Go Cold? What Changes?

When going through a breakup, be sure to make plans with supportive friends and share your honest feelings with them. Processing your emotions is like exercise, it takes effort but it's important not to dwell on it all day.
Take back your favorite places by creating new memories there. And remember, one positive aspect of a breakup is the opportunity to rebuild relationships with old friends that may have been lost during the relationship.
<ul>
<li>Cling to Supportive Friends
</li><li>Exercise Your Emotions
</li><li>Reclaim Your Favorite Places
</li><li>Rebuild Lost Relationships
</li></ul>

Dealing With A Breakup

How to raise your standards, find your person and live happily (no matter what)

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERUSA TODAY BESTSELLERINTERNATIONAL BESTSELLERAn essential set of tools and principles for healing your heart, finding love, and loving life.Finding love can be hard. Being single can feel even harder. In Love Life, world-renowned coach and New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey provides a practical roadmap for letting go of past relationships, overcoming the fear of getting left behind, and finding the love we want.Sometimes it feels like life and love are working against us. Just finding someone we like can be a struggle. Even when we do, we often find they’re not ready, or they want different things. Then there are the internal fears and anxieties that lead us to self-sabotage—that make us indulge the wrong behavior in others, hold back from expressing our needs for fear of losing someone, or overinvest in people and lose ourselves in the process. Love Life sheds light on these common patterns and how to overcome them, by showing us how to adopt new standards, elegantly communicate them, and develop the deepest levels of confidence that underpin them. Like many of us, Hussey has gone through major life changes over the past decade, and he opens up about his experiences, vulnerabilities, and mistakes.Love Life is about doing love better. More than a book about romantic relationships, Love Life shows us how to take control of each of the major relationships in our lives: our relationship with others, our relationship with ourselves, and our relationship with life itself.Our love lives have the power to elevate or eradicate the adjacent joy in our lives. Love Life sets you on the path to finding the love of your life, while deepening your love for life.

MATTHEW HUSSEY

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