Book Panda Notes's Key Ideas from Love Life
by Matthew Hussey

• They go out of their way to avoid sharing a single word that leads to a true sense of intimacy.
• They are more dangerous than liars because they depend on our unwillingness to face painful truths.
• Actively ensure that you are not enabling an avoider by being one. ⚠️
• If your relationship gets worse by speaking the truth, you are in the wrong relationship.

Hard conversations arise from having a standard within ourselves, which establishes a route for our external standard.

Any painful conversation today, that saves us from the anguish of future regret, should be moved to the top of our list of priorities.

Our greatest fear should be wasting our life on someone who won't make us happy, not scaring them away.

Hard conversations tend to become even harder as time goes by. The longer our needs go unmet, the more they harden into deep resentment and anger.

If someone is interested in you, they may show it through: 👀

1. Asking questions to get to know you more
2. Continuing the conversation even after it ends
3. Actively making plans to spend time with you
4. Creating a cozy atmosphere for you to feel at ease

Remember: There are plenty of people who desire the experience of having a partner but have no real intention of being a partner themselves.

Our compassion must include ourselves.

We must understand that everyone makes mistakes, including ourselves. We are all worthy of kindness and respect, regardless of our flaws.

At birth, you were given the responsibility to take care of yourself for life. Love yourself and treat yourself with love and respect, just as you would treat someone else you were responsible for. 🌸

Happy enough begins with us first radically accepting where we are now and then concluding that if nothing changes, we will actually be okay.

When we are happy enough, we can cheerfully say no to bad treatment, disrespect, or behavior that simply doesn't fit with the culture of our life.

We can also say no to someone who has different intentions, regardless of whether we have someone to replace them.

1. Talking badly about multiple exes.

2. Treating people badly when they don't think you are looking.

3. Love bombing.

• If a person is deeply into you, the last thing they would want to do is screw it up by coming on too strong.
• If you notice unearned speed and intensity, it is not necessary to have perfect judgement of whether it is a red flag. Simply suggest a slower pace.

4. Not saying sorry.

5. Consistently not keeping promises.

6. Inconsistency in communication.

When going through a breakup, be sure to make plans with supportive friends and share your honest feelings with them. Processing your emotions is like exercise, it takes effort but it's important not to dwell on it all day.

Take back your favorite places by creating new memories there. And remember, one positive aspect of a breakup is the opportunity to rebuild relationships with old friends that may have been lost during the relationship.

• Cling to Supportive Friends
• Exercise Your Emotions
• Reclaim Your Favorite Places
• Rebuild Lost Relationships