And it’s earned by actually succeeding, not by wishing and thinking about success. 
True confidence emerges when you regularly push-through things that are hard. The longer you sit with the boredom, pain, and discomfort, the more confident and successful you will be.

True confidence is earned

Our minds can deceive us so much so that the idea of something becomes more satisfying than the thing itself. And that's why we stop at the idea, before even transforming it into reality.
It’s easy to dream. But that’s where most people stop. And the very act of dreaming stops us from achieving our dreams.

The obstacles we create

Anything worth doing is going to suck at the beginning. Anything worth doing is meant to require pain and sacrifice. 
Most people live for the present moment, so when something starts to feel hard, most people quit. Most people indulge themselves in momentary satisfaction at the expense of a better future.

The bad side of "living in the moment"

The anticipation of an event is almost all the time more emotionally powerful than the actual event (in good situations and in bad ones as well).
The panic of talking with your superior about a raise is paralyzing and can last months. But once you convince yourself to do it, it’s over before you know it. The thrill of reaching a goal can become obsessive. But right after you do it, you’re bored and in search of something else.

The struggle with anticipation

This rule states that people feel maxed-out mentally and physically, and so they stop when they are at only 40% of their actual capacity. Going past this 40% capacity is when it becomes uncomfortable.
Thus, SEAL’s mantra, “If it doesn’t suck, we don’t do it.”

The SEAL 40% rule

We usually think about the things we desire in such detail, that we become happy enough and we trick ourselves into believing that we have actually done something productive.
So, when we try to act towards our desires, we immediately hit a stone wall of resistance and quickly distract ourselves from the discomfort with some form of momentary pleasure.

The illusion of action

Do something and don’t stop until it’s complete, no matter how long it takes.
Your goal is to learn how to accomplish hard things without repeatedly distracting yourself. Develop pleasure in experiencing internal conflict and sitting with it.

Experience internal conflict and sit with it

“Happiness leaves no bad after-taste, it is followed by no depressing reaction; it brings no regret, entails no remorse. True happiness is lived over and over again in memory, always with a renewal of the original good; a moment of pleasure may leave a barbed sting, [as] an ever-present source of anguish.”

According to psychological research, the anticipation of an event is almost always more emotionally powerful than the event itself. The dread of asking your boss for a raise is paralyzing and can…