Everything they told us about personal growth is wrong. For years, people bombarded us with advice on achieving success, happiness, and fulfillment.Discipline is everything, they say. Always set clear goals, they scream. But what if I told you that much of this advice could misguide and hold you back?It’s time to rethink the conventional wisdom we consumed for years.

The Personal Growth Lie

What are clear goals? Nobody knows.When you set a goal, generic advice says it should be simple. It should tell you what to do and how to finish it fast. But is this always the best decision?Research from Harvard Business Review indicated that <a href="https://hbr.org/2012/12/consider-not-setting-goals-in">overly rigid goals can lead to a narrow focus</a>. You might miss opportunities because of them.Also, focusing on one goal will create unnecessary pressure. It will increase your anxiety and stress. And you may burn out.

Myth#2 — Always Set Clear Goals

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Use tiered goals to remove the pressure you caused with your eagerness.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Forge DUMB Goals to loosen the stress.</li></ul>The myth of clear goals overlooks the importance of adaptability and spontaneity. Don’t let it take away the fun part of your life — your creativity, flexibility, and well-being.

Rethink: Adaptability Is Better Than Simplicity (2)

Discipline is not enough. Only discipline and motivation together will help you to reach your goals. And to keep your motivation high, you can change your situation or how you think about it.According to science (and Fishback), your motivation is higher at the beginning and end of a goal because you are excited when you start a new project or when you are about to finish it. So, building many short goals is better than yearly goals that take months to accomplish.

Rethink: Motivation Plays Its Role

Do you think entrepreneurs like Jeff Bezos and Steve Jobs succeeded because of specific goals? I have no doubts they used them. But that wasn’t their only strategy.They succeeded because of their ability to change and adapt to any circumstance. So, you have to learn when to pivot.Instead of always setting clear goals, try something new.

Rethink: Adaptability Is Better Than Simplicity (1)

Never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.Here is what I would say if I had to rewrite this myth.In all other cases, you can trust your guts more. And if you fail, you can always learn from that and try again.Trust your instincts. Embrace spontaneity. And don't be afraid of making mistakes.

Rethink: Failures Are The Best Lessons

I am a discipline entushiast. Discipline will allow you to ignore your motivation and keep going until you reach your goals. Or, at least, that’s what I love to think. But it’s not always true.Being disciplined means sticking to a habit until you reach your goal (and possibly even afterward). But research proved you will never keep a habit if it doesn’t give you joy and rewards.Ayelet Fishbach speaks about this in her inspiring TED Talk. She says that motivation requires you to change your situation or how you think about it. Otherwise, you will abandon your goals, even if you are disciplined.

Myth#1 — Discipline over Motivation.

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Explore every possibility — there is no other way of understanding what you want to become in life.J.K. Rowling didn’t set out the purpose to become a world-renowned author. She followed her curiosity and passion and didn't care about the setbacks. And she found her purpose.The find your purpose myth assumes that purpose is a fixed destination you already know. But it’s neither of those things.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You never know it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And it can always change.</li></ul>

Rethink: Explore Every Possibility

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Next Steps

The misconception here stands in how people behave around this buzzword. Many think that adopting a growth mindset is enough to guarantee success. But Dwek herself clarified that a growth mindset requires constant effort, discomfort, and failure.Think about a student who struggles with math. Positive thinking alone will not help him. He would need guidance and detailed advice. But mostly, he has to do exercises and fail them.It’s not about the attitude — it’s about the action, feedback, and helpful growth conditions.

Myth#5 — Develop A Growth Mindset

Now that you know why these personal growth myths are wrong, it’s time to do something about it. This week, I hope you break free from these rigid patterns and experiment with more adaptable approaches to personal growth.<ul><li class="ql-align-center">Use your motivation to complete your goals.</li><li class="ql-align-center">Value adaptability over simplicity.</li><li class="ql-align-center">Remember that failures are the best lessons.</li><li class="ql-align-center">Explore every possibility to find your purpose.</li><li class="ql-align-center">And don’t undermine the impact of effort and resilience.</li></ul>[READ THE FULL ARTICLE AND DOWNLOAD THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/debunking-the-top-5-myths-about-personal">HERE</a>]

A growth mindset is powerful. And you should have one if you want to become successful. But it’s not a magic solution. You must pair it with the right strategies, support systems, and realistic goals.True personal growth requires effort, <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/building-grit-how-to-fight-life-challenges">resilience </a>, and a supportive environment. It is not a belief — it’s a practice.

Rethink: Success = Effort + Resilience

Personal growth has become a booming industry over the past few years. And if you want to improve your life, you will find thousands of books, articles, and social posts on how to do it.But how do you know all those things will work?Over time, my fellow creators normalized the strategies and techniques that were once innovative. All personal growth creators mentioned the Pomodoro Technique or the Pareto Principle at least once. So, most strategies have become common sense for everyone. But how can you find what works for your specific case?

The Conventional Wisdom Problem (1)

Generic advice is efficient because it is actionable, simple, and easy to remember. And although it might work in most situations, it often lacks the nuance needed to be effective in your specific case.Let’s take “think before you act,” for example. In most situations, this advice works. But what if you must brainstorm new ideas to improve your business? It can stifle innovation and <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/10-common-overthinking-mistakes">lead to overthinking</a>.

Why Is Generic Advice Easy to Follow? (1)

Think before you act is an old piece of advice. And it has been touted as the key to making good decisions and avoiding mistakes.However, too much thinking often leads to analysis paralysis. Overthinking is a double-edged sword when it becomes a habit.Doubt, anxiety, second-guessing — are you sure you want to deal with all of that?Entrepreneurs like Elon Musk are known for their Fail-Fast-Learn-Fast mentality. And if it worked for them, it might work for you.

Myth#3 — Think Before You Act

According to a study by the University of Scranton, only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. Also, relying on sheer discipline often leads to burnout and lower productivity, according to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.More than 90% of people will never reach those achievements despite a strong belief in goal setting and discipline. And the oversimplified and counterproductive conventional wisdom is part of the problem.Are those beliefs helping you? Or are they holding you back?

The Conventional Wisdom Problem (2)

You never know you have found your purpose until you find it.I support purposeful lives. But you can’t just ask people to find their purpose. They have to search for it.I spent most of my life writing. I started with poetry in elementary school. Then, I tried songwriting in middle and fantasy narrative in high school. I built a few blogs — I can’t remember how many. And I forged two newsletters.But do you think I knew what my purpose was until recently? No, I didn’t. It became a purpose when I understood I would get back to writing no matter how hard I failed.

Myth#4 — Find Your Purpose In Life

It doesn’t mean generic advice is useless. However, personal growth is a field that focuses on the individual. It focuses on you. So you should find and use what works for you, not most people.Let’s look at the top five myths about personal growth that I will try to debunk now. As I said, they are not wrong. They are only popular ideas you must approach in other ways.These ideas will help you become more flexible and achieve your goals faster. Here are the beliefs we will dissect — and possibly dismantle — together.

Why Is Generic Advice Easy to Follow? (2)

I must admit it — I’ve suggested some of these ideas myself. They’re popular because they work (in certain situations). However, the danger lies in using them as one-size-fits-all solutions.I will debunk personal growth's top five myths in this article. Many of us have accepted those ideas as common sense. But they might be steering you in the wrong direction if applied rigidly.Whether you are nodding in agreement or shaking your head in disbelief, one thing’s for sure — you’ll never look at those truths the same way again.

Debunking The Top 5 Myths About Personal Growth

Discover the truth behind 5 personal growth myths and learn flexible strategies to achieve success, fulfillment, and real growth.