<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Our traditional understanding of addiction stems from a flawed experiment in the 1950s or 60s, where isolated rats became addicted to drug-laced water.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Bruce Alexander recreated the experiment with socialized rats, showing that the rats primarily chose plain water even when exposed to drug-laced water.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">This suggests that social connections and community can significantly reduce susceptibility to addiction, providing evidence that social isolation may drive addictive behaviour.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">These addictions also include social media and phone usage, which create dopamine-driven habits and loneliness.</li><li class="ql-align-justify"> </li></ul>

Rat Park

Make an effort to cultivate and strengthen friendships, work on them intentionally and don't leave them to chance.Sustaining meaningful connections requires deliberate effort. Organize trips and gatherings, meticulously plan these events and encourage open conversations. Ask deep questions about what your friends are struggling with. By doing so, your friendships are meaningful, supportive, and never taken for granted.If you're working too hard to buy yourself an expensive boat, by the time you have the boat you may not have any friends left to take onto the boat, and spend time with.

The Best Boat is your Friend's Boat.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Despite being successful you may often neglect friendships and focus more on family and career. Friendship is often viewed as a "nice-to-have" rather than a priority, with society emphasizing family and professional roles over maintaining close friendships.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Leaders can set examples by openly prioritizing friendships; their actions influence others, including employees and family members.  </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Sharing meaningful experiences with friends is more fulfilling than doing things alone, and leaders can help change the cultural mindset by modelling this behaviour.</li></ul>

Friendship vs. Success

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">People often use the word "sacrifice" in successful careers, but that sacrifice usually involves relationships, particularly with friends.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">High performers may sacrifice friendships for work, often cancelling meeting plans, but rarely make the reverse sacrifice by prioritizing friends over work.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In times of personal struggle, friends always step in.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It is important to invest in friendships.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">People may sacrifice for their careers, but balancing career goals with friendships is essential, as friends provide lasting support, unlike work.</li></ul>

Your friends will be there for you, your work won't!

A person is a person only because of the people.

We don't build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it.

When friends hesitate to share their struggles to avoid burdening others, it denies the opportunity to strengthen the friendship. True friends value the honour of being there during difficult times, and it's in those moments that trust and closeness grow.

Asking For Help

Many online communities don't focus on positive emotions like friendship, love, or connection but instead nurture anger and hate. Many members of such communities struggle with unemployment and a lack of purpose, seeking identity beyond their jobs and surroundings. Global movements, such as terrorism or white supremacy, often stem from individuals desperately searching for love and belonging, rather than pure hate. The loss of idealism and larger societal goals has driven people to find belonging in negative, destructive spaces, contributing to global divisiveness.

Looking to be Seen!

<ul><li>Society doesn't teach us how to work on friendships actively, and we may assume we are good friends without making meaningful efforts like deep, personal gestures; and showing love and support during hard times, rather we may use superficial social media posts.</li><li>Say "I love you" sincerely, it will make your friend feel safe and valued. You may initially be reserved but you will surely get more affectionate and open when you show or you are shown genuine love and affection.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Expressing love openly in friendships is important to deepen bonds and foster emotional safety and connection.</li></ul>

Say "I Love You" to a friend today.

Many people have shifted the emotional support they once received from a community of friends onto their romantic partners, which has strained relationships. Studies show that having friends to share personal thoughts with, including discussions about a partner, can strengthen romantic bonds. This mirrors the trend in workplaces, where people now expect work to fulfill not just professional, but social, communal, and even political needs, putting excessive pressure on both romantic partners and employers to be everything. This is an unrealistic and unfair expectation.

Ignoring Friendships

When we say we've sacrificed something for our career we shouldn't be afraid to put a name to who that sacrifice was because oftentimes it was the people in our lives that we call friends.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">There are many industries helping people improve as leaders, parents, or in other areas, but there's little focus on how to be a good friend.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Friendship plays a crucial role in addressing mental health challenges like stress, depression, anxiety, addiction, and even our obsession with longevity.</li><li class="ql-align-justify"> It is important to understand and nurture friendship in contemporary life.</li></ul>

Friendship as a 'Biohack'

<ul><li>Men often seek proof or case studies for the value of trust and care in relationships, while women inherently grasp its importance.</li><li>Women are generally more comfortable expressing love and affection towards their friends in comparison to men.</li></ul>

Women tend to have a better understanding of friendship and human dynamics than men

If we taught our children how to be friends, then I think, they are less likely to get addicted.

Trevor's brain crushe on Simon! They obsess over 'Friendship' as a biohack to fix many modern mental ailments. 

Join Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah in this candid discussion where they dig into the critical role of friendships in mental health, success, and happiness. Simon argues that while we’re constantly improving ourselves as leaders and professionals, we neglect the deep, emotional bonds that help us thrive. 

Simon and Trevor also discuss the loneliness epidemic among young men and its link to dangerous ideologies, and why teaching the value of true friendship could change society. Watch as they share stories and insights that will inspire you to nurture your friendships and live a more balanced life.

Video from Brilliant Minds, June 2024, in conversation with @trevornoah 

⏰ Timestamps
0:00 How This Conversation Happened
1:03 Simon and Trevor's Latest Obsession
2:40 The Sacrifice of Friendship for Success
6:15 Addiction and Community
8:20 Are You a Good Friend? 
11:30 Maintaining Friendships While Traveling
14:18 The Power of Asking for Help
15:28 Do Women Understand Friendship Better Than Men?
16:25 The Rise of Angry, Isolated Men and The Global Crisis of Loneliness
19:21 Friendship vs. Success: Prioritizing People Over Work
22:01 How Ignoring Friendships Affects Romantic Relationships

+ + +

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. 

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/
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Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/
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Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/
Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/
Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/
Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/
Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

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Simon Sinek is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Simon has devoted his life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and return home fulfilled at the end of the day.  Every day is an opportunity to inspire someone. 

Official Simon Sinek brand account.

Learn more at simonsinek.com.

TREVOR NOAH'S FRIEND

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