The truth is relieving and almost insulting: as a rule, the world is not the least bit interested in you.

The opposite of happiness is hopelessness. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, as long as we still have hope, we are not finished yet.You can get it if you really want - the biggest bullshit of all time and the source of eternal dissatisfaction.There are limits, and we must accept them.Everything we want to change and create must be within these limits, otherwise self-help becomes pure self-destruction.The better we know these limits, the better we can deal with them instead of constantly being annoyed that they exist.

The Opposite of Happiness is Hopelessness

Many people go through traumatic experiences in their lifetime, causing short-term or long-term effects that can be dramatic.However, research shows that up to 90% of individuals experience personal growth after facing a trauma, becoming resilient and stronger versions of themselves.You don't just revert back to your old self after a traumatic event. You undergo a transformation that strengthens and elevates you.

Transforming Trauma into Growth

There is a reason why we constantly bend our brains in front of ourselves, which experts call “cognitive dissonance”, and it describes the awful feeling that our own actions somehow cannot be reconciled with our own convictions.Actually, cognitive dissonance can also be described like this:I see the world - widdewidde the way I want to.

Cognitive dissonance

After all, it is not selfish to look after yourself, it is vital - who else would do it?

Just as liberating as the knowledge that you are responsible for your own happiness is the realization that you are not responsible for the happiness of others.

You may know exactly what (or who) in your past has caused you to act in this way and not otherwise - but this won't do you any good. The hard part is yet to come, because knowledge does not make problematic behavior disappear.But you can't influence how you feel, it only depends on what you do with these feelings!The fact that I relate the actions of others to myself as if I were the hub of the universe is not because I actually think I am: It's completely normal. We constantly overestimate the attention that the world gives us. It's called the spotlight effect, and we all fall for it.

The Spotlight Effect

Admitting weaknesses makes you strong, not only in front of yourself, but also in front of others. After all, it takes courage and when you overcome yourself and do something courageous, you feel good. Authentic.

Be authentic

We feel some outlandish stuff all the time, and some of it is based on a stupid mistake or misinterpreted.The tendency towards balance has returned to the conviction that neither the exclusive favoring of feelings nor of reason is the way, but that it takes the cooperation of clown and mind to get through life reasonably healthy.The fact that we decide with our feelings and not with our intellect explains why most advice books don't work: They don't change how you feel.There is no all-balancing justice in the world and the clown is just trying to solve a cute cognitive dissonance.

Ratio and Clown

We often hold each other back by staying confined to fixed roles. But the key to achieving true happiness lies in ourselves: only when we take control of our lives, we can experience the freedom of being the ruler of our world.Many think that someone else is the answer to our unhappiness, but in reality, they are just pseudo-saviors. They exist because humans tend to seek a savior, someone else to redeem them. This temptation shifts the responsibility away from ourselves, creating a dependency on others for our own happiness.

You are in charge of your own happiness

No does not mean stop, it's just a detour sign on your way to achieving your dream. Don't let others control what you want to achieve. Trust your intuition, it's quick and objective. Unlike imagination, it's not accompanied by strong feelings of fear and anxiety. It's a spontaneous knowing, a clear direction pulling you towards your dream.

Taking Control of Your Dreams

The time together so far has been an attempt to find out how and whether things should continue. With your partner, but also with friends. Because messing up the future just because the past was also bad makes no sense at all.Maybe you have or had a partner who wanted to keep you down, who didn't want you to move on for fear that you would leave them behind if you reached for the top.Maybe the authority you submit to sits in your own head and maybe it's been there for a very long time, whispering big bullshit to you. Listen carefully and see if you recognize the voice of the clown somewhere.

Sunk Cost Fallacy

Media reports can have a major influence on our well-being. If you consider that the media does not feel bound by the scientific facts of a topic, and even bends them for the most sensational effect possible, then the media has a much greater influence on the well-being of the general public than previously assumed: They can cause people to become sick.Often something seems so obvious and logical to us that we attach more importance to an explanation that may not be entirely scientific, but fits in well with our world view, than it perhaps deserves.

When we overcome something negative, we always come out of it stronger; you don't get that by pushing it away, keeping it quiet or pretending it's nothing. Covering up mistakes is a mistake, not admitting fear creates even more fear, and avoiding suffering is a form of suffering. What makes us greater as human beings comes from overcoming negative experiences, i.e. courageously moving forward and right through them.

Overcoming Negativity

We should treat ourselves the way we want to be treated. The words "love yourself" are nice, but our actions define our self-image and shape our lives.Imagine if we had to keep every promise we made to ourselves, and follow through with everything we set out to do. No more excuses. Our good intentions would align with our true desires. Every "Actually, I should..." would be evaluated to determine if we truly want to do it. If the answer is "yes", we should act accordingly because we made a promise to ourselves and we should not bullshit ourselves.

Self-Love and Self-Image

Don't underestimate the influence of your thoughts! The placebo and nocebo effects show how our mind can make an impact on our body, whether it's for the better or worse.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Our brain tends to create connections even when there are none.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The placebo effect is the healing effect of treatments based on the context of a treatment.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The nocebo effect results in negative physical reactions based on the context.</li></ul>

The Power of Belief: Understanding the Placebo and Nocebo Effect

Don't Believe Everything You Think: How to Expose the Errors in Your Thinking and Finally Make Free Choices

Alexandra Reinwarth trifft ihre Entscheidungen rational. Also einigermaßen. Das dachte sie zumindest, bis sie sich intensiver mit der Frage beschäftigte, ob das 17. Paar schwarze Schuhe im Schrank wirklich nötig war. Jetzt weiß sie: Der Verstand hat nichts zu melden. Regelmäßig wird man von anerzogenen Denkfehlern in die Irre geführt. Scharfsinnig und witzig zeigt Alexandra Reinwarth, wie man diesen Fehlern auf die Spur kommt und endlich kluge Entscheidungen trifft. Eine unerlässliche Hilfe für alle, die sich wundern, warum sie gute Vorsätze nie einhalten, tolle Ideen nicht umsetzen und dauernd Dinge kaufen, die sie niemals brauchen werden.

ALEXANDRA REINWARTH

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