Self-sabotage and its diversity

Self-sabotage can appear in our lives under many shapes:

  • procrastination: putting off what we should be doing now
  • substance abuse: consuming alcohol and drug often leads to us not reaching our goals
  • chronic lateness: this will usually result in you being perceived as a not so trustworthy person
  • stress eating: we all know the end of this one- poor diet or even illness
  • intimacy and commitment issues: the negative consequence refers to you ending up alone.

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Self Improvement

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Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage can be defined as the action through which you undermine your worth and goals. Even though you want something, you do actions that are contrary to achieving your target. There are mainly two types of self-sabotaging behaviors, as follows:

  • conscious self-sabotage: you do the actions that will end up undermining your goals consciously.
  • unconscious self-sabotage: you do actions that will end up undermining your goals without being aware of this.

Studies revealed two main causes of self-sabotage:

  • modeling: individuals tend to self-sabotage as they grew up seeing this in their parents' behavior
  • power: persons may tend to self-sabotage by entering into relationships with people who are, one way or another, inferior to them

In order to stop the self-sabotage, have a look at the below four steps:

  • get to know and understand why you feel the need to self-sabotage
  • once you have identified that need, check out ways you can fill it without having to involve self-sabotage
  • if you have already found the proper alternative, think about ways to identify and overcome possible obstacles
  • build up tolerance when dealing with unpleasant feelings
  • make sure you really know your values and goals

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RELATED IDEAS

  • Notice self-judgments.
  • Shift your definition of your worth, from outcomes to effort. Decide that you will define your worth by the loving actions you take for yourself and others.
  • Consciously see mistakes and failure as stepping stones to success, rather than as definitions of your worth. 
  • Learn to be kind and compassionate toward your own feelings
  • Make a decision that you are willing to lose another person rather than lose yourself. 

3

IDEAS

Our personality and life experiences predispose us to dominant modes of thinking, but these can be biased in ways that are unhelpful in the majority of situations.

Maybe you tend to worry people are angry at you when usually this isn’t the case. Or you tend to hesitate too much in making decisions.

When you thoroughly understand your personal thinking errors, you’ll be able to correct these, and this will become easier and almost automatic with practice.            

The most successful people are those who take the time to think through their choices, decisions and actions. 

Successful people learn from what worked or failed to work. They then adjust their course of action by taking a different approach.

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