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Vanessa
@vanessaw752
Craving respect
Diplomats know the intensity with which humans crave respect. Diplomats take the time to show that they have bothered to see how things look through the other person's eyes.
Diplomats perceive that people want to feel heard as much as they want to win their case. Therefore, diplomats put effort into securing the overall relationship's health so that smaller points can be won along the way.
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Jasper Asghar
@jasper791
How Your Job Shapes Your Identity
Our job and identity
When we meet new people, we may be tempted to ask what they do. We use the idea that our identity is linked to what we do.
What's more revealing are the psychol...
Categorising jobs differently
Instead of categorising jobs in terms of what you do, we can group it in terms of the psychological profile - the traits of human nature they weaken or reinforce.
- Patience vs impatience: Does the job train you to prioritise the now (A+E nurse, news editor)? Or the future (aeronautical engineer)?
- Suspicious vs trusting: Journalist, antique dealer vs psychotherapy, air traffic control?
- Speculative vs concrete
- Consensus-seeking vs independent.
When we are in a particular psychological environment, it will influence what we assume other people are like and shapes who we are over time.
Work can broaden or narrow our characters
An environment where compromise feels natural can broaden a person who has been over-invested in asserting their own views.
But work can also narrow our characters. A school administrator might be very good at reorganising the personnel roster but may be baffled if you ask what education is for.
Rhett M.
@rhettm40
Straightforward vs. Complicated People
Straightforward people
Straightforward people are easy to be around with because we know exactly what the issues are from the start. There is no need to guess or infer or translate.
If they don&...
Complicated people
Complicated people are very unsure about the legitimacy of their own desires, making them unable to let the world know what they really want and feel.
They may initially appear to agree with everything you're saying, but later on, their reservations will become known. They will say they want to join you for dinner but will inwardly ache for an early night. They will give the impression of being happy while crying inside. They will say sorry when they want you to apologize.
The reason for confusing complexity
The root cause of confusing complexity may come from fear of how an audience might respond if our real intentions are known.
The origins may have started in childhood. A child becomes complicated when they are given the impression that there is no room for their honesty. A child may have received irritation or open anger for their honesty.
Antonio Y.
@anty75
On Despair and the Imagination
Imagination: the power to find alternatives
Some of our most despondent moods are caused by failures of the imagination. Imagination here is the power to envision alternatives. When we're sad, we can't imagine fi...
We are people with choices
As grown-ups, we have choices. We are not small children where we have to depend on our parents for everything.
We could work as a bus conductor or retrain as a psychotherapist. We could volunteer in an emergency shelter. We can throw ourselves into learning a new language or take a university degree. We can look up old and trusted friends or make new friends.
Imagination: a chance of fulfillment
To increase our chances of fulfillment, we need to feed our imagination and provide them with endless examples of alternative narratives, so they are more able to come up with plan Bs. We should practice to picture better ways to be.
As part of creative classes, adolescents should be asked to produce narratives like: If I lost everything and had to start up again, I will... They should be asked to make a list of 20 things that currently make life meaningful, then have to cross them all off and find ten more.
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