A diplomat is serene in the face of bad behavior, such as a sudden loss of temper.
They don't take a wild accusation or a mean remark personally but understand that the person who bangs a fist of the table may be worried, frightened, or just enthusiastic - conditions that should instead invite sympathy.
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When we meet new people, we may be tempted to ask what they do. We use the idea that our identity is linked to what we do.
What's more revealing are the psychol...
Instead of categorising jobs in terms of what you do, we can group it in terms of the psychological profile - the traits of human nature they weaken or reinforce.
When we are in a particular psychological environment, it will influence what we assume other people are like and shapes who we are over time.
An environment where compromise feels natural can broaden a person who has been over-invested in asserting their own views.
But work can also narrow our characters. A school administrator might be very good at reorganising the personnel roster but may be baffled if you ask what education is for.
Straightforward people are easy to be around with because we know exactly what the issues are from the start. There is no need to guess or infer or translate.
If they don&...
Complicated people are very unsure about the legitimacy of their own desires, making them unable to let the world know what they really want and feel.
They may initially appear to agree with everything you're saying, but later on, their reservations will become known. They will say they want to join you for dinner but will inwardly ache for an early night. They will give the impression of being happy while crying inside. They will say sorry when they want you to apologize.
The root cause of confusing complexity may come from fear of how an audience might respond if our real intentions are known.
The origins may have started in childhood. A child becomes complicated when they are given the impression that there is no room for their honesty. A child may have received irritation or open anger for their honesty.
Some of our most despondent moods are caused by failures of the imagination. Imagination here is the power to envision alternatives. When we're sad, we can't imagine fi...
As grown-ups, we have choices. We are not small children where we have to depend on our parents for everything.
We could work as a bus conductor or retrain as a psychotherapist. We could volunteer in an emergency shelter. We can throw ourselves into learning a new language or take a university degree. We can look up old and trusted friends or make new friends.
To increase our chances of fulfillment, we need to feed our imagination and provide them with endless examples of alternative narratives, so they are more able to come up with plan Bs. We should practice to picture better ways to be.
As part of creative classes, adolescents should be asked to produce narratives like: If I lost everything and had to start up again, I will... They should be asked to make a list of 20 things that currently make life meaningful, then have to cross them all off and find ten more.
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