We sometimes don't quite know what we think until a good friend asks us to expand on a thought, to explain why we adhere to it and to find possible objections for it.

Good friends help us think

Good friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.
They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and hardships that have the potential to open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond.

The gift of vulnerability

Some of the reasons why we are not that good at friendships is the fact that we don't have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.
Maybe we should try to come up with a list of traits for an ideal friend, so as to focus our desires to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others.

The image of a "good friend"

They like us in ways we are not easily able to like ourselves.
Usually, we are more aware of our shortcomings than of our good parts. We need a friend because we are liable to be so very unfriendly towards ourselves.

Good friends help us to like ourselves

Good friends are reassuring. They don't just flatter - they understand how easily we lose perspective, panic and underestimate our own abilities.
Sometimes, they get us to laugh at ourselves when we would be inclined to indulge in self-pity or rage.

The gift of reassurance

A good friend helps us build our self-understanding.
Good friends listen to us and help us piece together the best accounts of our fears and excitements. Because there are so many things we don't entirely comprehend about who we are.

Building self-understanding

Good friends are genuinely interested in our hardships; they are not shocked by the odd and stupid things we've done.
They are not judgmental or critical of our weaknesses, because they are well aware of their own more troubled sides.

Embracing and understanding imperfection

Strategies to meet new people and reconnect with old friends

books

Books

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

communication

Communication

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How To Make Friends As An Adult

We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that sort of friend - and enrich the social lives of all those we meet. A short masterclass in the art of friendship. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2OXCk1M Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2RluXxC 2qkKvX6 FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2AApZYo “Some of the reason why we aren’t, collectively, so good at friendship, is that we don’t have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like. It may therefore be worth trying to draw up a list of an ideal candidate, so as to focus our desires and spur us on to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2Rq9vYw Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: 2qkKvX6 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Peter Caires https://vimeo.com/peterlikesthis #TheSchoolOfLife #Self #Friendship

We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that sort of friend - and enrich the social lives of all those we meet. A short masterclass in the art of friendship.
 Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2OXCk1M
Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2RluXxC
2qkKvX6

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2AApZYo

“Some of the reason why we aren’t, collectively, so good at friendship, is that we don’t have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.
It may therefore be worth trying to draw up a list of an ideal candidate, so as to focus our desires and spur us on to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others…”


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2Rq9vYw 

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLself

You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB 


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Feel free to follow us at the links below:

2qkKvX6
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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Peter Caires
https://vimeo.com/peterlikesthis

#TheSchoolOfLife #Self #Friendship

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

We have thousands of articles about emotional life for you on our website: www.theschooloflife.com

We offer online psychotherapy: www.theschooloflife.com/therapy

We publish one film a week, on Wednesdays at 14.00hrs GMT.

The gift of reassurance

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