The gift of reassurance

And we do it not to obtain some sort of advantage over someone, but because we deeply fear the annoyance and dissatisfaction of the people around us.

To survive, we decide to be responsive to what others expect us to do and be, leaving aside what we really want.

Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.

Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.

Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.

When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.

It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.

The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing.
Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.

Always remember that your job, writing to a friend, is to entertain. That can mean revelling in the odd pratfall. So, don’t just write about the mundane and pleasant things, try to give them the whole picture and make them feel something.

• You are extending respect and friendship. Write quickly, and preferably by hand.
• You’ll want to calibrate what you write to your relationship both with the recipient and with the deceased. Make it personal.
• If you knew the deceased well, sharing a couple of warm memories will let the recipient feel there’s a shared bond.
• If you didn’t know the deceased, you can make respectful reference to what you knew of them.
• Use tact. Don’t tell the recipient how they should be feeling.
• If you’re finding it hard to know what to say, you can acknowledge that; but don’t harp on it.
• Avoid operatic, or competitive, expressions of grief.
• Acknowledge, but don’t belabour, the grief and pain they feel.
• Focus on the individual excellence of the deceased rather than the consequences of the loss itself.
• Be tactful of their religion even if you don’t believe in it. 

This one you can ask for lifts to the airport, and call during emergencies like car accidents. You don’t rely on your helpmate for emotional support.

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

Men look for signs or attraction more than women do, like it has always been. Men initiate the love and take the lead, deciding to move out of a platonic relationship faster than women.