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The Agile Family Meeting
Parents aren’t infallible
One of the instincts we have as parents is to try and fix everything. However, members of effective teams spend as much time talking to one another as to the leader and speak in equal measure.
In the family meeting, the kids are allowed to say whatever they want and express their frustration.
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Agile development in the home
In an agile system, ideas flow from the top down and from the bottom up. The centerpiece is the weekly meeting built around shared decision making, open communication, and adaptability. In the home, everyone gathers around the table, and then you ask three questions:
- What worked well in our family this week?
- What didn’t work well in our family this week?
- What will we agree to work on this week?
Empower the children
With agile practices, enlist the children whenever possible in their own upbringing. When children plan their own time, evaluate their own work, and participate in their own rewards and punishment, they exert greater cognitive control over their lives and become more internally motivated.
Our instinct as parents is to give orders to our children since we think we know best. But telling your kids the same thing over and over may not really help.
Parents aren’t infallible
One of the instincts we have as parents is to try and fix everything. However, members of effective teams spend as much time talking to one another as to the leader and speak in equal measure.
In the family meeting, the kids are allowed to say whatever they want and express their frustration.
Accepting the ever-changing nature of family life
The agile family philosophy accepts and embraces the ever-changing nature of family life. It anticipates that even the best-designed system will need to be re-engineered half-way.
Parents often think they have to create a few overarching rules and stick to them. This philosophy presumes we can anticipate every problem that will arise and always parent in the same way. We can't.
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Accept that you have to put in place remote work systems, even if more than half of your employees ultimately revert to office-based work.
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Build a socially-connected culture
Intentionally design for the same interactions that would otherwise happen if people were in the office.
- Culture is what naturally happens when a group of people gets together for any period.
- A great culture happens with intentional design and influence. It's the reason you should make your company's mission, vision, values, operating principles, standards, and agreements visible.
- Culture is experienced through emotions, including how your employees feel about the company, you, other leaders, and peers. That feeling is developed through human interaction at the water cooler, kitchen, or hallway conversations.
Your leadership presence
Your people need to feel your presence as a leader as they will have fewer opportunities to see you face to face when they work remotely.
- Regularly show up in a variety of forms that can include weekly video meetings, periodic company-wide emails, or presence in public channels.
- Err on the side of more communication rather than less.
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False positivity
We are caught up in a rigid culture that values positivity.
However, when we put aside our difficult emotions in order to embrace dishonest positivity, we fail to discover skills that can hel...
Tough emotions are essential for living
How we deal with our emotions affects how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
We should not view our emotions as good or bad, positive or negative. We need our emotions for real resilience.
Moving Beyond Emotional Rigidity
When we go through tough situations, we cannot ignore our negative emotions with the hope that they don't matter.
Write down what you are truly feeling in a personal notebook. Move beyond the rigidity of denial.
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