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The Agile Family Meeting

https://hbr.org/2020/06/the-agile-family-meeting

hbr.org

The Agile Family Meeting
A simple framework to manage chaos, get along better, and reduce stress.

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Agile development in the home

Agile development in the home

In an agile system, ideas flow from the top down and from the bottom up. The centerpiece is the weekly meeting built around shared decision making, open communication, and adaptability. In the home, everyone gathers around the table, and then you ask three questions:

  • What worked well in our family this week?
  • What didn’t work well in our family this week?
  • What will we agree to work on this week?

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Empower the children

With agile practices, enlist the children whenever possible in their own upbringing. When children plan their own time, evaluate their own work, and participate in their own rewards and punishment, they exert greater cognitive control over their lives and become more internally motivated.

Our instinct as parents is to give orders to our children since we think we know best. But telling your kids the same thing over and over may not really help.

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Parents aren’t infallible

One of the instincts we have as parents is to try and fix everything. However, members of effective teams spend as much time talking to one another as to the leader and speak in equal measure.

In the family meeting, the kids are allowed to say whatever they want and express their frustration.

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Accepting the ever-changing nature of family life

The agile family philosophy accepts and embraces the ever-changing nature of family life. It anticipates that even the best-designed system will need to be re-engineered half-way.

Parents often think they have to create a few overarching rules and stick to them. This philosophy presumes we can anticipate every problem that will arise and always parent in the same way. We can't.

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