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The Agile Family Meeting

The Agile Family Meeting
A simple framework to manage chaos, get along better, and reduce stress.


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Agile development in the home

Agile development in the home

In an agile system, ideas flow from the top down and from the bottom up. The centerpiece is the weekly meeting built around shared decision making, open communication, and adaptability. In the home, everyone gathers around the table, and then you ask three questions:

  • What worked well in our family this week?
  • What didn’t work well in our family this week?
  • What will we agree to work on this week?




Empower the children

With agile practices, enlist the children whenever possible in their own upbringing. When children plan their own time, evaluate their own work, and participate in their own rewards and punishment, they exert greater cognitive control over their lives and become more internally motivated.

Our instinct as parents is to give orders to our children since we think we know best. But telling your kids the same thing over and over may not really help.



Parents aren’t infallible

One of the instincts we have as parents is to try and fix everything. However, members of effective teams spend as much time talking to one another as to the leader and speak in equal measure.

In the family meeting, the kids are allowed to say whatever they want and express their frustration.



Accepting the ever-changing nature of family life

The agile family philosophy accepts and embraces the ever-changing nature of family life. It anticipates that even the best-designed system will need to be re-engineered half-way.

Parents often think they have to create a few overarching rules and stick to them. This philosophy presumes we can anticipate every problem that will arise and always parent in the same way. We can't.




How we perceive philosophy

How we perceive philosophy

When most people think of philosophy, they believe philosophers simply argue about arguing. Philosophy is viewed as impractical and irrelevant to current issues.


Bertrand Russell

Bertrand Russell

"Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don’t know."

Defining philosophy

Philosophy is examining our understanding of reality and knowledge. Philosophy consists of three major branches:

  1. Metaphysics - What is true about existence.
  2. Epistemology - How we can know that it is true. Epistemology has given us science, logic/reason, economics, psychology, and other theories of knowledge.
  3. Ethics - What actions we should take as a result of this knowledge. Ethics contains concepts such as democracy, human rights, the treatment of animals, and the environment.

When you order your thoughts into a coherent belief system, you are engaging in philosophy. To criticize philosophy, you must rely on philosophy.

6 more ideas

False positivity

We are caught up in a rigid culture that values positivity.

However, when we put aside our difficult emotions in order to embrace dishonest positivity, we fail to discover skills that can hel...

Tough emotions are essential for living

How we deal with our emotions affects how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead.

We should not view our emotions as good or bad, positive or negative. We need our emotions for real resilience.

Moving Beyond Emotional Rigidity

When we go through tough situations, we cannot ignore our negative emotions with the hope that they don't matter.

Write down what you are truly feeling in a personal notebook. Move beyond the rigidity of denial.

You Are Your Job

You Are Your Job

Life has shaped us to do our jobs in a weird, almost comical way.

We are entangled to our jobs, and keep doing it way after our office hours, not because we are scared to lose our j...

Jobs: The Early Years

Dialling back a couple of generations, jobs were just jobs, plain vanilla. No one liked working, but it was a compromise of 40 to 60 hours a week of stressful or boring work. Due to this, our parents could live their lives, enjoying with family in evenings, and weekends, celebrating special days, vacationing once a year and doing other things that were provided by the security of a monthly income.

It paid for the food, the car, our education and the bills. There was nothing romantic about it.

Jobs: Now

Technology and modern consumerism, coupled with peer pressure have created a perfect storm of our work dominating our lives in unheard-of ways. Securing and maintaining a high-profile job is not possible for the laid back slacker, trying to enjoy his weekends doing gardening the whole day.

The older generation is baffled by our approach, and feel that we are doing the impossible by trying to find meaning and purpose in our jobs.