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Don't Change Your Tool—Change Your Purpose

Managing Oneself

Focusing on our strengths, understanding them and finding true purpose is a two-step exercise:

  1. Ask yourself what you are good at.
  2. Ask yourself if you enjoy that activity.

Write down what insights come to you in a journal. With time, introspection and humility you will find your true purpose by this self-assessment.

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Don't Change Your Tool—Change Your Purpose

Don't Change Your Tool—Change Your Purpose

https://dariusforoux.com/change-your-purpose/

dariusforoux.com

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Key Ideas

The Gift Of Our Unique Abilities

We all have unique abilities and skills that are unlike others. Instead of ignoring our strengths and pursuing stuff which may not be right for us but is what others are doing, we do injustice to our key skill or gift.

We need to find a purpose that aligns with our skills.

Managing Oneself

Focusing on our strengths, understanding them and finding true purpose is a two-step exercise:

  1. Ask yourself what you are good at.
  2. Ask yourself if you enjoy that activity.

Write down what insights come to you in a journal. With time, introspection and humility you will find your true purpose by this self-assessment.

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Mental Toughness Traits
Mental Toughness Traits

Professional athletes have five common traits, which make them mentally tough:

  1. Ego strength
  2. Level-headedness
  3. Stress tolerance
  4. Thoroughness
  5. ...
Ego Strength

Ego, generally considered an enemy, surprisingly can also be defined as a measure to handle setbacks, criticism and rejection.

When our ego-strength is embraced and utilized positively, we genuinely believe in ourselves no matter what the circumstances. No rejection, loss or failure can destroy our will to keep going.

Level-Headedness

Mental toughness is about keeping calm and level-headed while in situations that can make one emotional or make one’s heart pound.

It is almost like a superpower if you are composed and ‘cool’ instead of giving a knee-jerk, emotional reaction.

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Finding your purpose

Many seem to think that purpose comes from your unique gifts and sets you apart from other people. That is only partly true.

Meaningful goals that foster a sense of purpose are ones that can ...

Read

Reading connects us to people across time and space.

  • Research shows that those who read the Bible more tended to have a stronger sense of purpose.
  • Reading fiction also seems to make a difference. By seeing purpose in the lives of other people, we are more likely to see it in our own.
Find purpose in suffering

Finding purpose is not just an intellectual pursuit, it is something we need to feel. That's why purpose can grow out of suffering.

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Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
  • Passive-aggression is an indirect way to go on the offensive. An example is when someone tries to "get you back" by resisting cooperation and giving you the "...
What a covert aggressive looks like
  • They pretend to be innocent, ignorant, or confused when they did something awful. This tactic is to make you question your judgment.
  • They don't give a straight answer to a straight question, but evade the question or change the subject when cornered.
  • They lie by omission or distortion by deliberately being vague.
  • They may either respond with charm and flattery, of will suddenly be angry.
  • They'll play the victim and make themselves out to be the one in distress.
  • They rationalize by giving a plausible excuse for engaging in inappropriate behavior, or they will downplay their behavior.
  • Covert aggressives don't feel bad, but they know you do. They will send you on a guilt trip so you will lighten your accusations.
How to deal with a covert-aggressive person
  • Let go of the pretense that if you play nice, they will play nice.
  • Know your vulnerabilities and focus on the one thing that really needs to change: yourself. You can only control what you do.
  • Set some boundaries for yourself. Be prepared for the consequences and set a support system.
  • Memorize the list of tactics used by an aggressive person. Then it is easier to recognize the attack.
  • If you're willing to accept an excuse, know that they will fling excuses at you until one stick.
  • Stay calm and polite, and avoid sarcasm, hostility, or threats.
  • Without being rude, be specific about what you expect or want from the other person. Aggressives will only participate if they can get something out of it. If they have to lose, they'll make sure you go down too. Ensure you propose win-win solutions