Connections with other people, not money or fame, are what really matter in all facets of life.

We are wired for connection. Positive relationships provide meaning, mental health, longevity, job satisfaction, and overall wellbeing.Loneliness and isolation are detrimental. Nurturing relationships is thus essential.

Relationships as Human Core Need

Proactively develop connections by finding common ground, asking questions, listening deeply, sharing yourself vulnerably, and following up.True bonds require consistent investment and reciprocity over time.

Cultivating Social Connections

Strengthen work relationships by showing interest in colleagues' lives, discovering shared interests, providing support, mentoring newcomers, resolving conflicts quickly, and collaborating creatively.

Improving Workplace Relationships

Enhance close relationships by reminiscing positively, expressing affection, celebrating milestones, trying new activities together, managing differences, and taking responsibility for growth.

Deepening Personal Relationships

<ul><li>Effectively networking expands connections.</li><li>Contribute value, find shared passions, make introductions, avoid superficiality, follow up, and persist over time.</li><li>Build trust and help others.</li></ul>

Developing Networking Skills

Listen deeply and ask thoughtful questions to understand others' perspectives before reacting. Validate feelings. Express appreciation. Avoid judgments and assumptions.Communicate supportively.

Communicating with Empathy

Open up judiciously and respond sensitively to create mutual vulnerability.Also discuss positive experiences, dreams, interests, and strengths to build bonds.

Balancing Vulnerability and Strengths

Address conflicts early, respectfully explain your perspective, hear the other out, apologize for overreactions, find solutions, compromise, forgive, let go and move forward.

Resolving Conflict Productively

In Connect, David Bradford argues that human connection and relationships are the key to health, happiness, and professional success. He provides research and advice on improving all types of relationships.

'A practical and timely book' - Arianna Huffington, Founder and CEO, Thrive Global 'Valuable for everyone' - Julia Samuel, bestselling author Biting your tongue? Bottling it all up? From marriage to management challenges, learn how to change your relationships from exasperating to exceptional with this expert guide. The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a full life and becoming more effective at work. Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid personal and professional connections, or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others. When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship -- the kind of relationship where we feel fully understood and supported for who we are -- it can seem like magic. But the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described, learned, and applied. David Bradford and Carole Robin taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates for a combined seventy-five years in their legendary Stanford Graduate School of Business course Interpersonal Dynamics. Now, they share their insights with you, including: - Why relationship-building is not the process of being with 'the right person' but rather creating the kind of relationship you want - Why deepening a relationship takes risk - The importance of vulnerability, curiosity and empathy in building relationships - How the modern world can help - and hinder - our ability to connect Filled with time-tested strategies for giving feedback, negotiating boundaries, and working through disagreements, Connect will be an important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships and build new ones at any stage of life.

career

Career

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

A transformative guide to building more fulfilling relationships with colleagues, friends, partners, and family, based on the landmark Interpersonal Dynamics (“Touchy-Feely”) course at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business ONE OF BLOOMBERG’S BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR • “Carole Robin and David Bradford are masters at helping people bring IQ and EQ together to satisfy both and be successful.”—Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater and author of Principles: Life and Work The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a full life and becoming more effective at work. Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid personal and professional connections or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others. When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship—the kind of relationship in which we feel fully understood and supported for who we are—it can seem like magic. But the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described, learned, and applied. David Bradford and Carole Robin taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates for a combined seventy-five years in their legendary Stanford Graduate School of Business course Interpersonal Dynamics (affectionately known to generations of students as “Touchy-Feely”) and have coached and consulted hundreds of executives for decades. In Connect, they show readers how to take their relationships from shallow to exceptional by cultivating authenticity, vulnerability, and honesty, while being willing to ask for and offer help, share a commitment to growth, and deal productively with conflict. Filled with relatable scenarios and research-backed insights, Connect is an important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships and build new ones at any stage of life.

David Bradford, Ph.D.

Carole Robin, Ph.D.

Connect

A new term, “exercise guilt,” has cropped up in the past few years to capture the disappointment we feel when our fitness goals go unmet. When we fall short, we get dispirited and are less likely to exercise at all, putting us at risk for a host of destructive physical and psychic effects, which compromise high performance. Like any unmet goal we set for ourselves, it’s helpful to ask, is this guilt the result of falling short or shooting too long?

Exercise Guilt: When We Could Not Work Out And Feel Guilty About It

Many people have failed to distinguish the difference between “movement” and that dreaded word “exercise.”“Movement,” is an all-encompassing term that includes both fitness and the general physical activity we participate in day-to-day whereas “exercise” is is planned and structured training.

Movement Vs Exercise

The American Heart Association now advocates for 10 minutes — yes, only 10 minutes — of movement a day. When we break the term down in this way, it becomes clear that most of us may be closer to our goals than we think.The transition into the post-pandemic world is a perfect time for young professionals — and anyone, really — to rethink their health habits and shed the “exercise guilt” they may be feeling. It’s time to recalibrate our routines to a moderate pace and place.

Just 10 Minutes

Sedentary: This inactive lifestyle is categorized by too little movement due to excessive physical lethargy. Sedentary comes with health risks like obesity, type II diabetes, and heart disease. Sensible: The science says that this space is the best place, and it’s not that hard to get here. We don’t have to exercise obsessively to be healthy. Sometimes “sensible” is the best you should do.Superfluous: As opposed to excessive lethargy, this is excessive activity. Too much exercise can lead to depression, injury, and compromised immunity.

The Movement Curve: Don't Be Sedentary

A new term, “exercise guilt,” has cropped up in the past few years to capture the disappointment we feel when our fitness goals go unmet. When we fall short, we get dispirited and are less likely to exercise at all, putting us at risk for a host of destructive physical and psychic effects, which compromise high performance. Like any unmet goal we set for ourselves, it’s helpful to ask, is this guilt the result of falling short or shooting too long? A part of the problem is that many people have failed to distinguish the difference between “movement” and that dreaded word “exercise.” “Movement,” is an all-encompassing term that includes both fitness and the general physical activity we participate in day-to-day whereas “exercise” is is planned and structured training. The American Heart Association now advocates for 10 minutes — yes, only 10 minutes — of movement a day. When we break the term down in this way, it becomes clear that most of us may be closer to our goals than we think. The transition into the post-pandemic world is a perfect time for young professionals — and anyone, really — to rethink their health habits and shed the “exercise guilt” they may be feeling. It’s time to recalibrate our routines to a moderate pace and place.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

sports

Sports

“Exercise Guilt” Is Real — But It Shouldn’t Be

<ul><li>Know your goals (both short and long term). It will make it easier to find the right mentor. </li><li>Who do you look up to? Keep a running list of the jobs and people you are visualizing.</li><li>Do the research. Take notes on the path that person took to get to where they are today.</li><li>Be cognizant of your existing network. The more aware someone already is of your work and abilities, the more effective they will be at mentoring you. </li><li>Recognize the difference between a mentor and a sponsor. For example, mentors give advice but can't give you a new job, raise, or promotion. </li></ul>

Finding the Right Mentor

<ul><li>Have an elevator pitch ready. Be clear of your goals and why you think this person is the right mentor for you. Be upfront about your time commitment, what you're willing to put into the relationship and what you expect from them. </li><li>If it's a cold email, it's okay to start with the informational interview ask. But again, be specific about what you like about the person's work and why you want to meet. </li><li>When you feel someone is the right fit, do your best to make the ask with more than just a phone call or email. </li></ul>

Making the Ask

<ul><li>Goals still matter. If you mention your specific, achievable goals from the beginning of the relationship, your mentor can help you stay on track at each meeting.</li><li>Meet consistently. Figure out how often, how long, how you want to meet and make it consistent. </li><li>Set an agenda. </li><li>Be open to feedback: positive or constructive.</li><li>Decide on an end date. A good rule of thumb is usually four to six months, with the option to keep meeting informally.</li><li>Make sure not to monopolize the session with personal issues or make it only about venting.</li></ul>

Tips on Being a Good Mentee

A strong mentor can change your career and help you outside of work. 

The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One

When it comes to burnout, it’s natural to assume that by lessening our workload we can fight the culprit. But research has shown that when people are overworked but intellectually underutilized, they most frequently report feeling “exhausted.” 
Simply put, burnout isn’t necessarily a function of too much work; burnout is more often the result of too little impact.

The Cause Of Burnout

Work-related stress doesn’t just come from the amount of work you do. It also comes from stressors like dealing with people issues, juggling your work with your personal life, or a lack of job security. Make work light for yourself and others by eschewing politics and drama, and being easy to work with.The work doesn’t necessarily become easier, but the process of working becomes easier and more enjoyable.

Creating Impact: Reducing Phantom Workload

There is a strong correlation between “challenge level” and “satisfaction level” at work, meaning that, as the degree of challenge in your work increases, so does your job satisfaction. Find projects with visible impact and a scope that will invite you to stretch yourself.Tip: Don’t say yes to everything; say yes to challenges that are a size too big, and then grow into them.

Creating Impact: Increasing Challenges

If you are new to the workforce, don’t wait to be promoted into a managerial role before you take on leadership roles. Look for leadership vacuums in everyday moments.
When team members can step in and out of leadership roles with ease, everyone experiences less fatigue.

Creating Impact: Sharing Leadership Load

In surveying professionals from various industries about the resources they most need to be successful, six factors were rated of similarly high importance: 1) access to information, 2) action from leaders, 3) feedback or coaching, 4) access to key meetings and people, 5) time,6) helping establish credibility.You can increase your impact by negotiating for the guidance, coaching, and sponsorship you need before you need it.

Creating Impact: The Non-Tangibles

When we can’t let go of unproductive projects before they finish, we can rob our organization of the time and resources needed to pursue higher-value opportunities. Furthermore, finishing for the sake of finishing can result in a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrrhic_victory">Pyrrhic victory</a> in which success inflicts such heavy tolls on the winners (and their teams) that the victory is indistinguishable from defeat. 
In the wake of these battles lie exhausted, alienated colleagues who become reluctant to join the next campaign, and burnout abounds.

Creating Impact: Avoiding Reckless Persistence

Finding fulfillment in your work (without putting in more hours) can re-energize you.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Is Your Burnout From Too Much Work or Too Little Impact?

Reverse mentoring describes a situation in which a younger or early career professional mentors a senior colleague. While the overarching goal mirrors that of a traditional mentorship — advancing the professional growth of the mentee — because the roles are reversed, this model shows everyone that experiential learning is just as valuable regardless of your age or expertise.Junior employees gain more access to social networks and build their leadership skills. Senior employees gain a fresh perspective and expand their knowledge around new trends or technologies. Everyone becomes more engaged.

The Case for Reverse Mentoring

Mentoring is most successful when you take the time to think about what you are qualified to teach, what other people in your organization may be interested in learning from you, and how it overlaps with your company’s business objectives. Before pursuing a reverse mentorship, think about:<ul><li>What lessons are you willing to share?</li><li>What challenges is the company facing that you might have insights, information, or expertise on?</li><li>How can you communicate your knowledge to someone else without overwhelming them or making it about yourself?</li></ul>

Figure out what you have to offer

During your next one-on-one meeting with your boss, you could say something like, “I have learned a great deal from the senior colleagues in our organization, and in return, I’d like to take the opportunity to share some of my skills within the organization.”When it comes to sharing your idea with colleagues and peers, your best bet is to reach out to like-minded, curious individuals who may be interested in collaborating or taking you up on the offer.

Voice your desire

How you actually begin a mentoring relationship will largely depend on who you collaborate with. Make your intentions and expectations clear from the start. Together, you should discuss:<ul><li>What’s the objective of this mentorship? Is it to help them build a new skill or to learn more about a different generation?</li><li>How will the mentoring be implemented? Should it be a one-time activity, last a few weeks, or be a long-term commitment?</li><li>How will you measure your success? Is there a goal they are aiming to reach? How often will check in on progress?</li></ul>

Set clear expectations

Recognize that reverse mentoring may be uncomfortable for some people, especially those in positions of power who are not used to being in the passenger’s seat. If you find a senior leader struggling to lean into their vulnerabilities, guide them with empathy. Ensure them that your conversations will be confidential and that you understand this may be hard for them. Reiterate that the goal of the mentorship is to learn from each other without judgment. Essentially, model the behavior you want to see from your mentee.

Be patient and humble

Mentoring is always a two-way street, whether it is reverse mentorship or the traditional kind. While you’re mentoring a senior colleague, use the opportunity to learn more about how things get done on their team, gain new perspectives on how decisions are made and build your credibility as a young professional. Place them in your shoes by asking how they might handle the various challenges you face. Know that this isn’t about showing off but a genuine intent on both ends to share what you have learned and benefit the other person.

Treat mentoring like a continuous learning opportunity

Reverse mentorship is when younger or early-career employees share their skills with their more seasoned colleagues.

Mentorship Is Not a One-Way Street

Given the Great Resignation, employees are reclaiming their power, advocating for themselves, and seeking a better work experience.
This includes having mentorship available that is inclusive, measurable, and results-driven. With the shift to virtual work and employees becoming increasingly mindful of their priorities, we’re seeing an increase in employees wanting not only mentorship but also a way to connect virtually with other employees in order to build meaningful relationships.
There are three questions we need to ask ourselves.

Seeking A Good Match: Mentorship

Can You Truly Open Up With Your Mentor?
A solid mentor-mentee relationship can boost confidence, positively impact mental health, and even lead to future promotions.
Ask yourself whether this person believes in you, wants to help you achieve your goals, and will give you the space to be vulnerable. By simply participating in a corporate mentorship program, you both have a shared investment in each other’s personal growth. There has to be a mutual willingness to show humility and to practice transparency.

Being Open

Do You Click With This Person? You sometimes meet someone and feel an instant connection, as if you’ve known them your entire life. You connect with this person in a way that’s hard to put into words; you just “get” each other in a distinct way. In a mentor-mentee relationship, that might manifest as building on each other’s ideas and even finishing each other’s sentences.

Clicking With Your Mentor

Do You Dread Meeting Up?
A mentorship meeting shouldn’t be something you “have to do.” If an upcoming mentorship meetup sends you into a spiral of anxious thinking, that’s a good indicator that you and your mentor might not be a good fit. Yes, working through your goals will be difficult at times, but there’s a difference between dreading the complex path ahead and dreading embarking on that journey with this particular individual.

Being Comfortable With Meeting

Your mentor doesn’t need to be someone who was in your shoes five years ago. They can just be someone with whom you share a similar mindset.


Is your mentor a good match? Ask yourself these 3 questions

Starting a mentoring relationship can be nerve-wracking and awkward at first but don't let your fears hinder you from achieving your goals. In order to start a mentoring relationship you must have the following:<ol><li>Clarity about what you want. When goals are crystal clear, you're more committed to doing what's necessary.</li><li>Contacts to start meeting people. Look for potential mentors and jot down into a notebook and save their contact details and reach out to one or two at a time and ask for an informational meeting.</li></ol>

The Beginning of a Mentoring Relationship 

A mentorship is a relationship that when done right it can blossom into a beautiful friendship. In searching for the right mentor there are two ways you can do this:<ul><li>Formal Mentorship Programs</li><li>Informal Mentorship Opportunities</li></ul>The first option gives us pre-vetted and willing mentors through certain companies, conferences, and organizations. The latter happens without any outside intervention. You can find the right mentor for you through LinkedIn, Alumni networks, or local business organizations.

Finding Mentors

Finding a mentor is one of the biggest steps you can do to help your career. Learn how to find a business mentor here!

How to Find a Business Mentor

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

It is standard advice we hear all the time, to follow one’s passion. The time to do just that has come, but first we have to cultivate it.In the past decade, technology and social media has provided business tools to those who never dreamt of having them. The Average Joe is now empowered to do more with less, make better use of time and work on his own terms.People are becoming Free Radicals, who have the resources and opportunity to create the future.

Following Your Passion:  Free Radicals

Free Radicals, the empowered individuals of today, are self-reliant, resilient and potent. Work isn’t just something told to them but has to be intrinsically rewarding, flexible and engaging.Free Radicals are creators, who accomplish stuff often and have the occasional failure that adds to their learning. They scoff at bureaucracy, obsolete business practices and micro-management. They expect to be constantly optimized and aim for full utilization.

Reimagining Work As We Know It

Free Radicals, influencers, creators and technology rock stars are true believers of networking, the power of peer communities and meritocracy. They do what they love to do, and do it well because the work itself is gratifying.They also make good money doing what they love to do!

The Workers Of Today

Simply following your passion isn’t enough, and a better way is to develop valuable skills that aren’t very common. This can help us navigate our career towards our liking.One can also be aware of the automatic habits that have been cultivated in the course of our lifetime, like what we eat for breakfast, our health, career growth, and what we do to unwind. When we reshape our habits, our life changes.

Finding Your Passion

Tapping into your true potential is no idle endeavor. It demands creativity, dedication, and a whole lot of hustle. Welcome to the Free Radical.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

timemanagement

Time Management

business

Business

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Don't Follow your Passion, Cultivate it

There are hundreds of things we do routinely every day. We wake up, check our phones, eat our meals, do our jobs.
More recently, these actions have become a place for self-improvement and life-hacks. These guides tend to show habits as routines that follow a repeated sequence of behaviours, but this account is stripped of much of its historical richness.

Habits are more than routines

Today's self-help books rely on 20th-century behavioural psychologists such as BF Skinner, Clark Hull, John B Watson and Ivan Pavlov. These thinkers prioritise observable, stimulus-response reactions over inner feelings or thoughts.
Behaviourists believed people were conditioned to respond automatically to certain cues, which caused repeated actions. However, in light of contemporary neuroscience, the behaviourist image of habit has changed. For example, the brain is malleable and allows habits to write themselves in our neural wiring over time.

What 'behaviorism' teaches us about ourselves

Philosophers used to look at habits as a way of thinking who we are, what it means to have faith, and why our daily habits reveal something about the larger world. Aristotle uses the term hexis (a lasting characteristic, capacity or disposition that one 'owns') and ethos (what triggers the essential principles that help to guide moral and intellectual development.) Later in medieval Christian Europe, Aristotle's hexis was Latinised into habitus.

Aristotle on habit

The theologian Thomas Aquinas saw habit as a significant component of spiritual life. In his Summa Theologica (1265-1274), habitus meant rational choice that leads the true believer to the sense of faithful freedom and consuetudo involved habits that inhibit this freedom: the irreligious, daily routines that don't actively engage with faith. Consuetudo is where we get the terms 'custom' and 'costume' from. It suggests that habit extended beyond individuals.

Thomas Aquinas on habits

Enlightenment philosopher David Hume thought of habits in broader terms. He considered habit as something that empowers and enables us. He concluded that habit is the 'cement of the universe' that 'all operations of the mind depend on.' He believed that any skill we use to change an experience into something useful is built from habits, such as language, music, relationships. Habits are then essential instruments that guide us to navigate the world.

David Hume on habits

philosophy

Philosophy

habits

Habits

A philosophy of habit: What our routines can tell us

Travelling to a new country is a highly disruptive, educative experience, with discoveries and adventure every day: New kinds of food, people, places, customs and cultures.
It is a fantasy of a lot of people to pack their bags and just go somewhere abroad, starting a fresh, new life. The ‘experience economy’ trend (before the pandemic hit the planet) has had the younger generation spending good money on travelling and exploring, instead of buying expensive stuff.

Moving To A Different Country

New challenges emerge when we take the plunge and start a new life in a different country. We have to make new friends, learn new languages and cultural quirks, learn the working style, while also staying in touch with our past life.
Technology (Whatsapp, Zoom and social media) surely helps in connecting with our loved ones, especially in dire emergencies. There is so much to do (and learn) that the first six months or one year fly by.

The Reality Of Moving To A Different Country

Most people who choose to settle in a different country, far away from their homeland have one thing in common: They are grateful for the experience of a lifetime.
Staying in touch with the people who love us becomes a top priority, as we realize the value of people. There are periods of gloom, self-questioning or loneliness, something that has to be endured.

Moving To A Different Country: A Moving Experience

One cannot expect miracles in a few weeks or months after moving to a different country, with a new time zone, language, laws and people.
It generally takes about two years to know a place fairly well and settle there. One has to put themselves out there, trying new things, just to meet new and interesting people.

Moving To A Different Country: The Time Factor

Moving away from one’s family and comfort can alienate many people, with different kinds of food, timings and other rules. The trick is not to get into a constant comparison mode and endure the new routine, which will help one learn and grow. People will appreciate you if you make the effort and absorb their customs and rituals.
The expat experiences real freedom and independence once the world around them is familiar and friendly.

Connect

“Exercise Guilt” Is Real — But It Shouldn’t Be

The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One

Is Your Burnout From Too Much Work or Too Little Impact?

Mentorship Is Not a One-Way Street

Isie Mckee