Questioning ourselves and doubting our own thoughts and beliefs is one of the hardest skills to develop. But it can be done.

Emotions are part of the equation of our lives, but not the entire equation. Just because something feels bad doesn't mean it is bad. Emotions are merely signposts, suggestions that our neurobiology gives us, not commandments. Therefore, we shouldn't always trust our own emotions. In fact, I believe we should make a habit of questioning them.

Many people become so obsessed with being "right" about their life that they never end up actually living it.

If I ask you, "What do you want out of life?" Your response is so common and expected that it doesn't really mean anything.A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider, is, "What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?" Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f*ck about.

Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.

Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is "solving". The secret sauce is in the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.

To not give a f*ck about adversity, you must first give a f*ck about something more important than adversity.

There is no correct dogma or perfect ideology. There is only what your experience has shown you to be right for you. And even then, that experience is probably somewhat wrong too.

The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. And while this may make you uncomfortable, it's an incredibly important concept to accept, as we'll see.

People deny and blame others for their problems for the simple reason that it's easy and feels good, while solving problems is hard and often feels bad.

Forms of blame and denial give us a quick high. They are a way to temporarily escape our problems, and that escape can provide us a quick rush that makes us feel better.

To not give a f*ck about anything is still to give a f*ck about something.

People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes. They lack the ability to take on new perspectives and empathize with others.

Instead of striving for certainty, we should be in constant search of doubt.

When we’re young, everything is new and exciting, and everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of f*cks. We give a fuck about everything and everyone.

That answer will change and evolve, because I change and evolve; and as I grow older and more experienced, I chip away at how wrong I am, becoming less and less wrong every day.

Whatever your problems are, the concept is the same: solve problems, be happy. Unfortunately, for many people, life doesn't feel that simple. That's because they f*ck things up in at least one of two ways: denial & victim mentality.

We shouldn't seek to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the ways that we're wrong today so that we can be a little less tomorrow.

Not giving a f*ck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law”. The idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.

Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened. And even then, it's still debatable. That's why accepting the inevitable imperfections of our values is necessary for any growth to take place.

Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded.

Happiness is therefore a form of action; it's an activity.

A confident man doesn’t feel a need to prove that he’s confident.

And this pain, as much as we hate it, is useful. Pain is what teaches us what to pay attention to when we're young or careless. It helps show us what's good for us versus what's bad for us. It helps us understand and adhere to our own limitations. Therefore, it's not always beneficial to avoid pain and seek pleasure, since pain can, at times, be life-or-death important to our well-being.

Happiness is not a solvable equation. Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature and, as we’ll see, necessary components to creating consistent happiness.

Essentially, we become more selective about the f*cks we’re willing to give. This is something called maturity. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a f*ck about what’s truly f*ckworthy.

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

#16

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