FOMO and the quality of our experiences - Deepstash

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The Fear of Missing Out: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Instagram

FOMO and the quality of our experiences

FOMO make us want to accumulate as many experiences as possible, but at the same time, it robs those experiences of any real meaning. That's because it causes people to make their decisions based not on the reality of the experience, but rather the imagined experience. 

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The Fear of Missing Out: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Instagram

The Fear of Missing Out: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Instagram

https://markmanson.net/fear-of-missing-out

markmanson.net

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Key Ideas

The fear of missing out (FOMO)

FOMO = the compulsive desire to experience something (or be somewhere) motivated by the fear of what you will potentially lose. And this idea of loss is usually imagined. FOMO is that irrational belief that everyone is always having more fun than you, at all times.

Overcoming FOMO

The way to get out of feeling FOMO is to start killing those fantasies that you’re letting rule your decision making. And that means understanding there’s no such thing as a perfect night out or a perfect party. 

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FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

FOMO is the experience of worrying that other people are doing more interesting things than you, have more friends than you, and are just all around living a better and cooler life.

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What you really wish to do

Choosing one path means missing another.

When you feel FOMO coming on, ask yourself if the trigger is really something you wish you were doing yourself, or if the sudden recollection of the great number of choices in life has simply brought on a moment of insecurity about your own

If it’s the latter, taking a moment to reaffirm your decision is all it takes to chase the FOMO away.

The need for a change

Keep in mind that your FOMO trigger may not relate directly to something you wish you were doing yourself, but can instead point more broadly to something you want to change about your life.

Examine the source of your FOMO before dismissing it; there may be a good reason you feel insecure about your decisions.

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The "Fear" in FOMO

Living with constant or recurring fear, from post-traumatic stress to paranoia to FOMO, doesn’t improve life quality; it just makes us haunted and tense.

Our task is to live in a FOMO-plag...

FOMO is based on lies

When you feel FOMO coming on, remind yourself that practically every image you see on practically any screen is likely misleading. 

The human experience depicted by the media is never the whole truth — and often an outright lie. 

Fight FOMO with FOMO

What if we let FOMO mean something else? 

  • Fear of Moving On. With this definition, you remind yourself that fixating on things you may be missing is just another way of resisting your own life, your own unfolding destiny.
  • Find One Magnificent Object. When FOMO strikes, let it prompt you to contemplate something wonderful: the sun, a bowl of soup, your own hand.
  • Feel Okay More Often. Realize that simple equanimity, along with the enjoyment of small things, is the healthy diet that yields sustainable happiness.

Try inventing your own FOMO definition. 

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Slow down

Practice taking your time when eating, driving, talking, or engaging in the tasks of everyday living. 

Practice discernment
... in regard to distinguishing what is truly important and necessary from what is merely desirable.

Focus on the kinds of things that enhance the quality not the quantity of your experiences.


Go for the experience, not the symbol

There are always going to be people we admire and perhaps envy. It’s “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome.

Focusing on the experience—a feeling of accomplishment, adventure, connection, fun, self-respect, freedom—that underlies the object or symbol—wealth, marriage, a sports car, a luxurious home—helps us distinguish what is truly fulfilling from that which can only provide a temporary feeling of pleasure.

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