For Some People, A Compliment Is A Throw Into The Spotlight

Research suggests this struggle is particularly pronounced for women, who are often socialized to be modest and to focus outwardly on others. Compliments, then, can feel like spotlights exposing imagined imperfections. Layer on the pressure of perfectionism that women often feel, and even a well-meaning “You’re amazing!” can feel like a reminder of our perceived shortcomings.