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Don't Expect, Accept
Expecting more from the self can help us change the course of our life. Wanting to be in better shape, or learning a new skill is the first step towards self- motivation and eventually action.
Any shortcomings or obstacles (like missing a day of action) make us see expectations in a different light, something that chains us and moves us away from the simplicity of self-discipline.
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Instead of imposing a daily habit, where self-expectation is bound to happen, we can simply appreciate the habit and let ourselves move naturally towards it.
This takes the stress out of the activity, and we enjoy it more. Due to zero expectation, we change a mindset from ‘have to do’ into ‘want to do’.
Any failure in the habit does not lead to any discouragement or demotivation, and we start to do the activity more often and become more and more present in it.
Dropping all expectations isn’t that easy.
We usually do not look at reality as it is, due to it coloured by our beliefs, ideals, fantasies, frustrations, and assumptions. Expectations become part of our ego and becomes the reason we feel discouraged, overwhelmed and inadequate.
When you have a to-do list with ten to fifteen tasks, including five important ones, the simple discipline of work needs to be implemented:
- Choose one task that feels important while letting go of the others for a short while, as they can become your distractions.
- Be in the moment and do the task, staying in it completely.
- Let go of any expectations of the burden of tasks, and choose the next one when the task at hand is complete.
- Remain stress-free and do not overwork yourself, resting when you need to.
When we pick a habit, we face a challenge of maintaining the consistency of the daily action. The simple discipline of habit can be implemented:
- Set aside a time and space to commit yourself for a certain habit(like journaling).
- Do the habit, even if you feel a certain resistance.
- Try to appreciate your work, and let go of how you think it should be done.
- Repeat this for the next few days.
- Do not fret if you miss a day, not getting in the expectation trap.
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Imagine a good thing that happened to you recently and a bad thing. Just imagine those recent incidents as just events, not good or bad in any way. When we stop judging, we are not burdened with emotions, and not chained to the world. Nothing is really good or bad, but in reality, is just our interpretation and perception.
Even big events are events that just happened. Festivals and wars keep happening. Death is always happening everywhere, let it be.
Whenever an outside force interrupts our progress - we skip gym for a day or two for example - it sends a message to our brains that we aren't good enough and we can't do it and that we should just give up.
Disruption is the biggest obstacle to overcome but we can always change this habit if we look at it with fresh eyes. Instead of seeing it as a negative event, look at is as a fresh start, like it's something we've never seen before. It would help open our minds to the curiosity and possibilities.