The successful interrogator who is looking to navigate a relationship minefield needs to know himself very well, and ‘sync’ it with the personality type of the other person and be able to do a verbal ballet dance, while staying nimble and flexible.

According to leading counter-terrorism experts, the same methods that aid communication and co-operation with terrorists and criminal suspects can be applied at home and work to solve relationship issues.

Whether it is a teenager, a boss, or a bank robber, one has to understand the communication style, quirks and language that is used, usually in these four major types:

• With the help of the right communication, attitude and gestures, a rapport can be formed with the other person (like a teenager or a spouse).
• The power balance needs to be restored/shared, so the person who is ‘closed’ finds a reason to open up.
• Threatening, blackmailing a...

1. The more we push someone to do something, the more they resist and rebel.
2. The more urgently we need information from someone, the harder it could get for us to get it out of a person.
3. Building rapport, and providing autonomy to the person help thaw out the relationship and...