Benefits of seeking advice

... before and after seeking advice. Gratitude has been shown to promote honesty, productivity, and overall well-being in the workplace, and can be used as a tool to ease any interaction, including asking for advice.

If a co-worker agrees to meet for coffee and share a lot of advice with you, emphasize how much you appreciate their time.

• Show your interest and keep the conversation flowing. 
• Follow-up questions can make conversations less superficial.
• People are more willing to reveal sensitive or personal information when the toughest questions are asked at the beginning of the conversation. 
• Active listening will show your advice-giver that you are engaged and care about what is being discussed.

Normally people react with caution and fear towards negative feedback, but it is much better than no feedback at all.

Informing the colleague/subordinate/client/customer or individual about something that is not working, is always beneficial, and builds transparency and trust.

The fundamental goal of giving feedback is to help the person you’re giving it to. They should realize that you are not trying to make them feel bad, and this is an exercise to help make them better.

How it impacts each individual is going to be different so a tailor-made approach is required. 

“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”

When we read scientific studies, it helps to keep in mind the following:

1. Scientists are prone to error just like everyone else.
2. Single source claims are dubious.
3. There is a lot we don’t know.
4. We should not be biased towards a particular outcome.
5. Independent tests of the findings can be done if possible.
6. Proof of something does not mean it is true, and a lack of proof does not mean it is false.

The fear of appearing incompetent or an incompetent person is misplaced, as research shows that the person who is asked for advice thinks good of the person asking.

Advice seekers appear smarter to the person whose ego is now stroke, making him provide valuable insights while being impressed by the seeker. Being asked for advice increases the level of perceived competency of the seeker in the eyes of the expert.

Asking for advice leads to a series of interactions at the office, which gives way to exchanging information, learning and builds a meaningful connection that goes beyond the initial request for advice.

Unless it is completely uncalled for, negative feedback generally has the intention of informing us about our areas of improvement. If feedback isn’t provided, you may not grow and improve. If no one tells you that you are doing something wrong, you will keep doing it wrongly forever.

Providing timely feedback may be a sign that the manager cares and wants you to improve.

One should not be defensive when provided with negative feedback, and understand that it is for our own good.

One needs to act on the feedback by approaching it from a neutral and objective standpoint, not taking it as a personal attack. Instead of reacting, just pause and listen. Reflect on the feedback, giving yourself some time and space to respond with a level head.

• Positive vs. negative. Positive feedback confirms that someone is taking good action, while negative feedback shows what actions need to be corrected.
• Formal vs. informal. Formal feedback is given on a set schedule, and informal feedback is short and follows after an action or event.
• Annual vs. monthly
• Verbal vs. written
• Manager vs. peer

• Objective. Don't let your personal feelings get in the way.
• Timely. Feedback should follow when the event is still fresh.
• Constructive. Give respect and show that you have their best interests in mind.
• Actionable. Feedback must include immediate next steps.
• Warranted. Give your employees room for mistakes and learn from them.

To define success for yourself, you must take a step back and reassess your career. It starts with acknowledging that managing it is your responsibility.

Taking control requires you to take a fresh look at your behaviour in three areas:

• Knowing yourself
• Excelling at critical tasks
• Demonstrating character and leadership

Taking responsibility for your career starts with an accurate assessment of your current skills.

• Write down your three greatest strengths and your three most significant weaknesses. This requires reflection and seeking the views of people who won't mind telling you the truth. It takes a willingness to confront your weaknesses, fears, and blind spots.
• Figure out what you genuinely enjoy doing. Then ask how well it matches what you currently do. Loving what you do gives you the strength to weather personal setbacks, overcome adversity, face and address your weaknesses, and work long hours required to reach your full potential.

To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it. 

When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.

In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance. 

When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.

When someone mentions a problem, it most likely isn’t the core problem but only an outward symptom.

Even if by some miracle one is able to find out the real problem, it does not mean that the advice doled out will be useful or will be implemented.

Most people are ignorant of their ignorance and live in a self-created bubble of superficial knowledge, which they believe is the only true knowledge there is, due to a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect.

A piece of straightforward advice doled out to be followed to the tee, is often due to lack of knowledge, rather than because of it.