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10 Reasons Why You Fail

Nothing worth having comes easy

As cliche as that sounds. Most of us give up on something we’re passionate about too soon. But anyone who’s been successful has a tale of struggle and perseverance to share.

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10 Reasons Why You Fail

10 Reasons Why You Fail

https://markmanson.net/why-you-fail

markmanson.net

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Key Ideas

Bad behaviors cascade

That reticence to ever ask someone out on a date probably plays out in your failure to move to a new city, to take that new job or the timidity around your co-workers.

Standing out of the crowd

People don’t like it when someone changes or does something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. They will think he’s crazy, selfish, arrogant. If you want to do something incredible, you have to become comfortable with being different from the rest.

Humility

It means knowing what you don’t know. 

Many people accomplish a little bit and decide that they are experts. But successful people often downplay their successes (or usually never even mention them) - they regularly point out their weaknesses and how they need to learn more.

Success and strong relationships

Success means building strong relationships. Creating a wealth of social and romantic relationships hinges on the ability to meet people and connect with them in a meaningful manner. And living without regular social contact is as unhealthy as smoking cigarettes.

Don't argue against feedback

The feedback loop goes like this: try something -> get feedback and results -> learn from feedback and results -> try something new.

People who are dead set on arguing why what they already believed is right (despite not working) are effectively breaking the chain off and not accepting feedback. Therefore they will never change.

Distractions and social media

Distractions are not limited to social media. Sports and politics are in this category too, when they come in the form of sensationalized infotainment meant to keep you clicking rather than informing and influencing your life.

Take responsibility

... for what happens to you. It’s tempting to blame your problems on some external factor, but to fix your problems you must have power over them. You can’t have power over aspects of your life unless you take responsibility for them. 

You are capable to handle stuff

Trust the process. This isn’t some sort of manifestation/affirmation mantra. The mind’s unconscious beliefs about possibilities inform the level of effort and expectation of success from the body’s behavior. So, a little delusion of grandeur goes a long way. 

Indifference as a defense mechanism

Some people are terrified to invest themselves into something because it could potentially lead to failure and failure could potentially lead to a lot of thoughts their psyche is not yet prepared to face: questions about self-worth, competence, being worthy of love, etc.

Success and self-worth

Something inside us makes us feel uncomfortable with the idea of accomplishing too many great things as a result. Deep down, you don’t think you deserve what you want. The heights and burdens of success make some feel like a king and others like a fraud.

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Fail Fast!

In our Success obsessed society, failure is rampant, as every successful person has a string of past failures, and may have been a loser before eventually finding success.

Learning from Failure

The person who eventually succeeds after failing is the one who is using failure to learn, as a feedback mechanism, and applying those lessons in his future decisions.

Importance of Failing Fast

Failing Fast is crucial considering the first lesson of learning and taking feedback from failure.

The speed of failing ensures we take the path to success sooner rather than being stagnated and then having to pay the opportunity cost. 

Our eventual success depends on our failing fast.

Lack of Willpower

It takes discipline and strength of character to effect a fundamental change in any of our ingrained habits, but once the momentum has been created, and the sense of satisfaction and well-be...

Poor Support Structure

Behind every successful person is a positive and reinforcing social structure.

Surround yourself with positive, reinforcing characters who want you to succeed and buy into your long-term happiness and fulfillment.

Unrealistic Expectations

If you are 50lbs overweight and give yourself five weeks to get ripped abs or tight buns, you are quite simply setting yourself up for failure.

This body is achievable, it isn't going to happen overnight, but if you set yourself a goal and motivate yourself it is achievable. 

7 more ideas

Fear of Failure

People are considered sub-par or 'not up to the mark' if they are not good at the preset measurements and examinations, which are designed by others, that have a risk-averse outlook towards life.

Being Average 

Being average should not be looked down upon. There are a lot of successful people, who are good at what they do and are average at best.

Being consistent and reliable is more important than being exceptional. We should know our strengths and weaknesses, and move smartly towards success.