10 Reasons Why You Fail - Deepstash

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published 11 ideas

10 Reasons Why You Fail

markmanson.net

Bad behaviors cascade

That reticence to ever ask someone out on a date probably plays out in your failure to move to a new city, to take that new job or the timidity around your co-workers.

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Standing out of the crowd

People don’t like it when someone changes or does something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. They will think he’s crazy, selfish, arrogant. If you want to do something incredible, you have to become comfortable with being different from the rest.

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Nothing worth having comes easy

As cliche as that sounds. Most of us give up on something we’re passionate about too soon. But anyone who’s been successful has a tale of struggle and perseverance to share.

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Humility

It means knowing what you don’t know. 

Many people accomplish a little bit and decide that they are experts. But successful people often downplay their successes (or usually never even mention them) - they regularly point out their weaknesses and how they need to learn m...

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Success and strong relationships

Success means building strong relationships. Creating a wealth of social and romantic relationships hinges on the ability to meet people and connect with them in a meaningful manner. And living without regular social contact is as unhealthy as smoking cigarettes.

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Don't argue against feedback

The feedback loop goes like this: try something -> get feedback and results -> learn from feedback and results -> try something new.

People who are dead set on arguing why what they already believed is right (despite not working) are effectively breaking the chain off and not accepti...

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Distractions and social media

Distractions are not limited to social media. Sports and politics are in this category too, when they come in the form of sensationalized infotainment meant to keep you clicking rather than informing and influencing your life.

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Take responsibility

... for what happens to you. It’s tempting to blame your problems on some external factor, but to fix your problems you must have power over them. You can’t have power over aspects of your life unless you take responsibility for them. 

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You are capable to handle stuff

Trust the process. This isn’t some sort of manifestation/affirmation mantra. The mind’s unconscious beliefs about possibilities inform the level of effort and expectation of success from the body’s behavior. So, a little delusion of grandeur goes a long way. 

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Indifference as a defense mechanism

Some people are terrified to invest themselves into something because it could potentially lead to failure and failure could potentially lead to a lot of thoughts their psyche is not yet prepared to face: questions about self-worth, competence, being worthy of love, etc.

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Success and self-worth

Something inside us makes us feel uncomfortable with the idea of accomplishing too many great things as a result. Deep down, you don’t think you deserve what you want. The heights and burdens of success make some feel like a king and others like a fraud.

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