The Dark Side Of Self Control

Studies have shown that people that are really good at achieving their goals are not the ones that put more effort into exerting self-control in the face of temptations, but the ones that experience fewer temptations to start with.

• They actually enjoy the activities some of us resist (eating healthy, studying, exercising)
• They have better decision-making habits
• Some people just experience fewer temptations
• It’s easier to have self-control when you’re wealthy - when you’re poor, the future is less certain.

• A 2011 survey found that 27 % of respondents identified a lack of willpower as the primary factor keeping them from reaching their goals. 
• One study found that students who exhibited greater self-discipline had better grades, higher test scores, and were more likely to be admitted to a competitive academic program. 
• The study also found that when it came to academic success, self-control was a more important factor than IQ scores.
• A health study found that people who were rated as having high levels of self-control during childhood continued to have high levels of physical and mental health in adulthood.
• Research has found that self-control is a limited resource. In the long-term, exercising self-control tends to strengthen it. 
  

A lack of willpower is not the only factor that affects goal attainment.

• There needs to be a clear goal and the motivation to change. Having an unclear or overly general goal and insufficient motivation can lead to failure.
• You need to monitor your actions daily towards the achievement of the goal.
• You need to have willpower.

• Eat. Our brains need fuel to run properly, and when that fuel runs low, the brain has difficulty regulating our emotions. Eat high protein foods.
• Meditate. Devote a few minutes a day to simply focusing on your breath and your senses. You will be calmer and your decision making will be sounder.
• Sleep. Your brain’s ability to absorb glucose is significantly diminished without rest. Stay consistent with your sleep every night.
• Exercise.
• Force Yourself until a new habit is formed.
• Get Others Involved. Find a support system.
• Do Your Research. Whatever your struggle, make it your priority to be the master of it.

• One common explanation: we that if everyone else is choosing to do one thing, it is probably a good thing to do.
• Another common explanation: we fear that failing to follow a norm may have negative social consequences.

The idea of the self-categorization theory is that people conform to the norms of certain social groups whenever they have a personal desire to feel like they belong.

It is irrelevant whether a norm reflects people's preference, as long as the behavior is associated with the group.

People who have high self-control aren’t missing out on enjoyment. Not being able to resist temptation and enjoying life are not the same things.

They tend to eat in a healthily way, exercise more, sleep better, drink less alcohol, smoke fewer cigarettes, achieve higher grades at university, have more peaceful relationships, and are more financially secure.

Research showed that self-control is ultimately limited by our biology. We can’t exercise effortful self-control indefinitely – the brain has to do regular maintenance to remain functional.

While it’s obvious we need to exhibit a certain amount of self-control while choosing what we put in our bodies, that is not the whole story.

If we educate our bodies and learn about nutrition, longevity and how our individual bodies function, we could be eating a lot healthier.

There is a lot of stuff available for us to do that makes us feel better instantly. Watching TV, going to the beach, drinking alcohol, smoking, and almost every other activity that seems pleasurable to us, giving us temporary pleasure in a jiffy. When we keep doing that, the long term effects are bad, and we feel older, weaker, sicker, while not having any achievement in our lives.

This is a natural process of a slow movement towards disorder, is also the second law of thermodynamics, called Entropy.

All the foods that you regularly eat are ones that you learned to eat.  Everyone starts life drinking milk. After that, it’s all up for grabs. 

But in today’s food culture, many people seem to have acquired uncannily homogenous tastes: food companies push foods high in sugar, fat and salt, which means we are innately incapable of resisting them but that the more frequently we eat them, especially in childhood, the more they train us to expect all food to taste this way.

... and another 1% are bulimic, with rising numbers of men joining them.

What statistics are not particularly effective at telling us is how many others – whether overweight or underweight – are in a perpetual state of anxiety about what they consume, living in fear of carbs or fat grams and unable to derive straightforward enjoyment from meals.

1. Most people blindly follow a figure of authority due to an inbuilt culture of obedience, where positional power eclipses any sound judgement.
2. Authoritarians ensure most of the information never reaches people, by discrediting or cutting off the information sources.
3. They use incremental action by gradually increasing the demands that are made on others.
4. They ensure that people don’t have any personal responsibility for their actions. Example: Managers hiding behind company policy to justify unfairness at the workplace.
5. They use the power of fear by discrediting facts, scapegoating, polarization, and divide and rule tactics.

Normally, we utilize the ‘high road’, the main regions of the brain (thoughtfulness and reasoning) before any information reaches the amygdala (region of emotional response).

When a brain reacts due to any kind of threat, the main brain regions are skipped as the ‘low road’ is taken, sending the information directly to the emotional processing region, activating stress, anxiety and fear-based reactions.

At the very root of Stoicism there is a very simple, though not easy, way of living: Take obstacles in your life and turn them into your advantage, control what you can and accept what you can’t.

“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”  -  Epictetus: