Emotion and money

Most of us know how much we make, but we need to pay close attention to how much money is actually coming in post-tax, and how much is going out.

You can start by writing down your Starbucks, Uber, Amazon, and take-out expenses, along with your car insurance, utility bills, subscriptions and memberships. Slowly we can realize that many of these small expenses add up to huge figures.

By noting down all your expenses on pen and paper, or on the PC excel sheet, you can start to review and analyse your spendings on a weekly or monthly basis. This will make you find innovative ways to save money, catching hold of ‘runaway spending’ that went unnoticed before.

Example: You could find that the $5 Smoothie that you had every day, could cost much less if you made it at home.

When living your life, you should definitely consider enjoying the small things. This applies to the financial field too: learn how to enjoy and celebrate every small win, as this will eventually lead to the great wins.

Throughout your life, you are bound to live some pretty frustrating moments, such as the one when you lose a job. The most important is that, when this happens, you do not lose yourself too. Remember that setbacks are only temporary and you can always find a solution to improve your situation.

The body positivity movement has its root in the fat acceptance movement of the 1960s. The body positivity movement began to emerge around 2012, first focusing on challenging unrealistic feminine beauty standards, but eventually shifting to the message that all bodies are beautiful.

Body positivity also means not beating yourself up over changes that happen naturally due to aging, pregnancy, or lifestyle choices.

The formation of body image starts early in life. Exposure to images of the "thin ideal" poses a danger. It develops the belief that beauty, success, and esteem are the result of thinness. When people internalize these ideas, they may experience body dissatisfaction, leading to depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.

Body positivity attempts to address these issues by helping people recognize the influences that promote a poor body image. They hope that people will adjust their body expectations and feel more positive and accepting of their own bodies.

Our self-esteem, mental and emotional health, positive and negative life experiences, and family relations all influence whom we’re attracted to. 

There is an amount of healthy idealization that helps us fall in love.

However, if we’re depressed or have low self-esteem, we’re more likely to idealize a prospective partner and overlook signs of trouble, such as unreliability or addiction, or accept disrespectful or abusive behavior. A lack of a support system or loneliness might also blind us to potential faults.

It is far better to first deal with these concerns before entering into a relationship.

People who consistently undermine or cause harm to a partner (whether intentionally or not) often have a reason for their behavior, even if it’s subconscious. 

Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing. They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder.

The most serious warning signs include any form of violence, abuse or harassment, which should be dealt with immediately. But in many cases, the indicators of a toxic relationship are much more subtle: Persistent unhappiness, negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem, feeling like you can’t talk with or voice concerns to your significant other.

Your budgeting style will change over your lifetime. You may use the envelope method when you need to be stricter with yourself.

Some people feel less stressed when they use budgeting styles that track every penny. Others find it is enough to run cash flow and know there's some money left each month for nonessentials. They don't need to itemize where every dollar is spent. See what style of budgeting support your goals and sanity, then adjust as needed.

Much personal finance advice focuses on making cuts. The information is useful when you're trying to avoid mindless spending. However, there is a time to shift your focus from slashing to earning.

Polish your resume, and apply for open roles that could be earning more. If you're not looking for a career move, a side hustle can help increase your income.

Shopping can be socially acceptable because consumerism is continually pushed on us in the forms of posters, adverts, and signs.

Shopping is also a way of life: You need food and clothing from stores. Even if you try to stop compulsive buying by avoiding the stores in person, there is still a world of online shopping.

The Big Spenders like to make social statements by having the latest car, clothes, or phones. They use the money for love and attention and are the main representatives of consumerism.

Advice: Think twice before making a purchase and try to filter the things that you really need from those bought by reflex.

The Ostrich is someone who would rather bury their heads in the sand than organize their finances. 

Advice: Ostriches should try to take slowly their heads out of the sand. They should try to examine their finances, take a close look at a better saving rate and consider approaching a financial planner.

Use plain language. The more fluent you are with real emotional language, the more clearly you will be able to think about how you’re feeling.

Get used to the idea of emotional complexity. When we feel upset, we're not feeling one single emotion. We are usually experiencing a blend of many emotions.

Training ourselves to look for and see this emotional complexity is key to better understanding ourselves when we’re upset and moving on in a healthy way.