To make sense of the world, our brain makes neural pathways from its past experience. These pathways allow us to become efficient and not doubt every move we make.

However, when we need to update our expectations to a new reality, our brain has to create new pathways. One tool is to use emotion, but it's limiting. The other is repetition. If you repeat a new behavior for 45 days, you will build a new expectation.

To rewire yourself to focus on the good you want instead of disappointed expectations, use both emotion and repetition.

We prefer to hold on to old experiences. It helps us make sense of the world: It protects us from touching a fire or eating poison berries. But when the expectations cause anxiety, we can adjust them.

If you get what you expect, your brain releases a bit of dopamine and moves on. I...