The Nature And Dynamics Of An Excuse - Deepstash

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Why We Make Excuses

The Nature And Dynamics Of An Excuse

  • An excuse can provide us a sense of control on our lives, viewing our mistakes as an anomaly.
  • Shifting responsibility to an external force seems safer than a simple apology ("Sorry, I had a flat tire".)
  • It helps maintain our social ties and positive perceptions of our colleagues and acquaintances.
  • An excuse can also be an attempt to manipulate the emotions of others.
  • Excuses help us mask our bad habits by comparing them with worse ones.

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  • Women and adolescents are quick to feel the negative effects of shame, and dive into low self-esteem and depression at a much faster rate than men.
  • Young people have a stronger ‘pull’ towards any kind of emotion, including shame, which is the reason for them being susceptible to severe depression.
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Define who and what
Identify the person who has affected you negatively.

Identify the specific behavior that damaged you. Consider the person as a whole with positive and negative behaviors. The pers...

Let the feeling be felt
Any feelings that are attached to the damaging behavior need to be brought to the surface.

If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him. 

Forgiveness is good for you

Many of us have anxious and negative attachments to people who have hurt us in the form of anger, hate, resentment, irrational guilt or shame.

Removing the negative attachment through forgiveness will make you feel liberated and open you to the positive that life has to offer.